


The Butterfly

by DeanneA



Category: Pentatonix
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexuality, M/M, Swimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 07:17:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 47
Words: 43,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5734471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanneA/pseuds/DeanneA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex is a swimmer on the USA Swimming National team with his eyes on the Olympics, but even he may not be able to catch up to Mitch.  And even if he does, is Alex sure he really wants to be caught?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1:  The Day

Alex sat, perched high up in the Life Guard stand. It was windy enough that his rescue can and tubes were tapping against the supports and the breeze was a welcome distraction from the humidity. He pulled his now dry hair into a pony tail to keep it out of his face, then did a quick scan. He double checked the two surfers to his south and four swimmers who were fairly far out to the north. Then his attention returned to the first 20 feet of ocean where far fewer than usual children and their parents were playing. The surf wasn't too high at the moment, even with the wind, so he wasn't on particularly high alert. It was supposed to rain later though so that probably accounted for the low turnout.

He downed half a bottle of water and checked his watch; forty-five more minutes and not a minute longer. His replacement should be heading out to meet him at the stand in half an hour and he planned on being in his car at 5:15 and heading to dinner so he could get some sleep and be at a ridiculously early make-up practice in the morning. He was only here at all because of a favor although it really wasn't that much of a burden. He didn't mind filling in for Sarah now and then because she fed him so well. This last-minute shift coverage was worth at least 3 dinners at her house (once she was feeling better), and every one of them would be a feast. There were few things in the world he enjoyed more than a good meal and in his book, that was more than fair repayment. At least Sarah understood his need to scarf down 2,000 calories at dinner. She knew that swimming for hours most days burned far more than a normal person could eat and yes, protein shakes helped but food was the way to his soul. 

He did a quick radio check into the shack and rescanned before he sat back, satisfied that all was well. Four north, two surfers south and about 15 children with their parents at the water line. Another easy shift.

 

*** *** ***

Mitch, Scott, Kirstie and Jeremy were about 25 feet out, far enough away that the kids voices and screams were muted by the sound of the ocean and more importantly, they were a bit disguised from the shore. Being recognized wasn't really a problem but they had so few days to spend relaxing that they'd decided to all play it cool today and try to stay as unnoticed as possible. So far, so good.

"Come on Mitch, you can relax and get some sun" Scott begged. "I want to play."

"I thought we were hiding out? Beach volleyball isn't exactly low-vis there Scottland Yard."

"Yeah, but... but it's volleyball. Please?"

"Fine, go, but I'm staying here. It's cool and relaxing and I'm good. You can go and get ogled and stared at all you want."

"He has a point boys" Kirstie chimed in. "I'll stay here too. Maybe you won't draw as much attention if it's just you two. We'll come in later and then call it an afternoon? It's getting late."

Mitch dug his toes into the sand bar as he watched Jeremy and Scott swim back to shore. They'd lucked out finding this spot and he turned to Kirstie, glad to have a few minutes alone with her. "So two years huh?"

"Yeah." She grinned, then readjusted her ponytail. "He might be the one. But who's YOUR one, Mitchy? You've been single a long time."

"I'm my own boyfriend. I know what I like and I'm always around - it's not so bad."

"Oh god you're funny. But really honey, aren't you lonely?"

"With Scott around? I barely get 10 minutes to myself to take care of necessities, if you know what I mean. Sure, every now and then I hate being the 3rd or 5th or whatever, but it's not so bad. I'm not gonna settle K, whoever I date has to be amazing."

"Well obviously. But we meet SO many people travelling and touring. You haven't met anyone?"

"You know I've gone out lots of times, sometimes even two or three dates, but if they live halfway around the world... it's just hard. Besides, I never know if they're actually interested in me or just my fame, you know? You're lucky K."

"You can't tell me there aren't some amazing, eligible guys here in L.A. But fine, I'll drop it for now. Do you want to head in? The sky doesn't look so good."

Mitch looked up at the now cloudy sky and shivered. "Wow, water feels colder too. Yeah, let's go."


	2. 2 The Rescue

Alex watched the sky with a worried frown on his face. He didn't like the wind that had just picked up speed and changed direction and he absolutely didn't like how the waves were swirling just behind the two remaining swimmers up on the sand bar. He was familiar with it and knew it sometimes gave people a false sense of security. Large drops started to fall and a boom of thunder shook the beach as families scurried to their cars. He kept busy scanning between the surfers who were thrilled at the change in the weather and the two swimmers who had remained behind when the group separated. 

The female had headed straight towards the beach and was almost to shore. The guy had cut a diagonal, towards his friends, probably to save himself a walk on the beach. He was a decent swimmer but Alex kept his eyes trained on him anyway and watched the swell dip ominously a moment before the rip current grabbed him.

He stood, grabbed his rescue can and blew his whistle three times before launching himself onto the sand. His long legs carried him to the water in only four or five steps and then he was splashing through the surf, his eyes glued to the spot he had last seen the swimmer. 

Mitch resurfaced, panicking when he realized he was 20 feet further out than he should be. And then he saw the scene out of Baywatch unfolding before his eyes. Holy shit, that Adonis was coming for him. He raised his hand, trying to tell the guard he was fine but a second later he had a mouth full of water and was fighting to stay afloat.

Alex watched him go back under but now that he was in the current, he knew exactly which way it would be taking the victim. He adjusted his course and was only about 10 feet away when he resurfaced. "Hi, I'm a lifeguard. Do you need assistance?" He hated the speech he was forced to give but they'd been trained over and over that simply grabbing someone was just asking to be sued or worse.

"I really hope not, because that would be embarrassing, but you're here, so..." He reached out and grabbed the red float that the guard tossed.

"It's just a rip current but we need to swim parallel to shore about 30 feet until we're past it and then we'll head in, okay? Just hold on to the can and we'll get you back in no time." He made good time, especially since his victim wasn't freaking out and was instead actually kicking and helping. His feet hit bottom and he pulled on the line, bringing his rescue close enough to help him stand. "Can you walk?"

"Oh, yeah, just tired. I'm fine, really."

"Good. But it'll look bad if you eat sand halfway to the stand, so I'm going to walk with you, alright? What's your name?"

"Mitch. Yours?"

"Alex. But I have to put yours on the report, so I'll need a last name too along with and a few other details. Can you come over here and have a seat just a minute? I have some water." He handed a bottle over just as Mitch's friends swarmed around them. "Guys, I just need some info and then he's all yours. Give us two minutes?"

Kirstie and Jeremy immediately backed away and headed back to their gear to try to get it packed up. Scott refused to let go of Mitch though. "I'll be quiet. Is he okay? Does he need to do anything? What happened?"

"Scott. That's not quiet" Mitch gently reprimanded. " I'm fine, I'll be over in a minute. Go figure out where we're eating or something." He turned back to Alex who had a grease pencil in his hand. "Sorry."

"No problem. So what's your last name Mitch?"

"Grassi. G-r-a-s-s-i. Um, who's going to read this?"

"No one except my supervisor. They just keep a log to convince the city we do something other than sit around and look pretty." He got the rest of the form filled out and looked up at the stand. "Mind if I drop this off and head out?"

Brianna looked down quickly. "Of course not. Call it a night."

"Hey, Alex? I know you probably have plans but we're going out to dinner if you want to join us. I figure it's the least I can do after making you save me."

"Dinner? You said the magic words. I am starving. I'll drop this off and then you can let me know where to meet you."


	3. 3  The Dinner

Alex parked, glad it was early enough that the place wasn't packed yet. In another hour or two you wouldn't be able to get a table and he knew the cold, hard truth of that because he loved seafood and this was the best around. He'd been turned away more than once but tonight he was going to feast.

Mitch saw him as soon as Alex walked in. Really, how could he NOT? Boy was well over 6 feet of toned, gorgeous, sleek muscle with a wicked grin and amazing hair. Damn. He stood and waved him over, asking forgiveness from whoever could grant it because he was glad Kirstie and Jeremy had decided to call it a night. He almost wished Scott wasn't there. Almost.

"Hey, still waiting on the other two?" he asked, sitting down next to Mitch.

"Nope, just us tonight, hope that's okay. Alex, this is Scott, my bestie."

"Nice to meet you again."

Scott reached his hand out. "This is under much better circumstances and I'm not spazzing. Can I buy you a drink?"

"Sure, if you want to. I appreciate the offer."

"And I appreciate you saving Mitch. I owe you." Scott signaled the waitress over and soon their drink and appetizer orders were taken care of.

"So" Mitch asked, resting his chin on his palm and facing Alex. "Do you save people often?"

"No, you're actually the first. I'm not a full-time guard though, I was just filling in. I used to work a pool during college but you're my first ocean rescue. Congrats."

"Oh, what do you do?"

"I'm on the US swim team, training for the Olympics."

"No shit?" Scott asked, suddenly interested.

"Promise."

"So will you get to go?" Scott asked.

"Maybe. My butterfly is strong and I'm a good relay swimmer."

"You lost me at butterfly" Mitch said.

"It's a swim stroke, I think" answered Scott.

Alex chuckled. "Yeah, there are four main strokes and I specialize in one of them."

"Do you wear a speedo?" Mitch asked.

"MITCH!" Scott sipped his drink and looked away, pretending to not listen.

"No, not anymore. We wear jammers. They changed the rules after the '08 Olympics, no more body suits in the pools. Sorry, I'm rambling."

"No, I'm fascinated, actually" Scott answered, then grabbed his phone just as 2 huge appetizer plates were brought over.

Mitch watched wide-eyed as Alex ate, filling his small plate several times. He'd just stolen an oyster when Alex eyed up the last two on the plate. "All yours." He'd watched Scott eat for years and Avi could put down some food when he was hungry but he honestly didn't know where Alex was going to put his dinner. Maybe he was just going to take it home?

Scott looked at his phone once more. "Shit, I need to run, Mitch. Can you get an Uber? Kirstie and Jeremy have a flat and the truck is saying 2 hours so I'm going to take them home."

Alex sighed, assuming that Mitch would want to leave. He decided to be polite about it and pulled out his wallet. "It's all good, you don't have to stay just for me Mitch, whatever's easiest."

"One, I'm paying, Mr. Saved-me-from-being-sharkfood. Two, I don't mind getting a ride later, I'm a big girl. Go be a hero Scott, I'll see you at home later."

Alex stared at Mitch for a moment after Scott left. "You're from Pentatonix. How did I just figure this out? He doesn't look the same in real life. I mean he does but..."

"Nope, Scott is about the most unphotogenic person ever. Poor thing." He looked at Alex's face change, the realization washing over him and realized that he was telling the truth. How refreshing. "Change your mind about dinner?"

"No, I'm just trying to remember what I know about you... I saw you perform on TV a while ago. You were good."

"Well thanks."

"Sorry, didn't mean to fangirl. We can move on now." Alex seemed content to drop the subject but Mitch wasn't quite sure.

"You're not going to ask me about the group or find out if I can introduce you to someone or heaven forbid sing for me?"

"Oh I'll sing if you want to. But you're going to have to grab the crab bucket from the table behind you first."

A bucket?"

"Yeah, for me to carry the tune in" Alex joked.

Mitch regretted the last sip of water he'd taken because he almost spit it out. His hand flew up in front of his mouth to cover up the accident. "Oh god you're funny."

"I'm glad you think so."

"Are you?" Mitch asked shyly.

"Of course." Their food arrived just then and they realized at the same moment that they had forgotten to cancel Scott's. A huge extra platter sat in his now empty spot. "We can get a box?"

"It's fried, it'll be nasty by tomorrow. Let me ask Scott though, just in case." He typed a quick message and received an answer almost immediately. "He doesn't want it."

"Mind if I eat it?"

Mitch eyed Alex's grilled fish and vegetables. "Go for it. Yours will keep much better, good idea."

Alex laughed. "His looks better than mine, but I'm not taking any of it home. Besides, this way I can honestly tell my coach that I ordered the grilled tilapia."

"But you already ate a ton, are you serious?"

"Any idea how many calories I burn at practice?"

"I'm going to guess a lot?"

"Want to come and see?" Alex offered, surprised at his forwardness.

"To a practice?"

Alex had his mouth full so he just nodded.

"You know what? I'd love to."


	4. The Practice

Mitch parked next to what looked like an old factory, then got out of his car and looked around. Alex had warned him about the outside in his message though, so he knew he was in the right place. He spotted the door where the buildings met and then walked in. Immediately he was accosted with the smell of chlorine and the humidity made him reach a hand up towards his hair automatically. There was really nothing to be done though so he let it go. He recited Alex's instructions to him in his head: down the long hallway with the blue stripe, then a right turn at the end and....

So that was an Olympic size pool. He'd seen lots of pools at hotels and in people's yards and he knew an Olympic was larger but this one seemed bigger than he expected. He made his way through the glass doors and into the bleachers, then tried to figure out which one was Alex. There were three toned, ripped men flying back and forth through the pool and while one was obviously not him, it took a moment to decide which one was Alex. It was confirmed when he pushed himself out of the pool at the end and walked towards who he assumed was the coach.

Even a swim cap wasn't enough to distract from the image. Yes, he'd looked amazing yesterday in his bright red 'lifeguard' board shorts but in the black second-skin suit, well, damn. Mitch had no idea how many laps he'd just swum but his chest was heaving with exertion and the long muscles in his arms and legs were flexed and almost humming with electricity. He smiled and returned Alex's low wave, amused that he was pretending he couldn't lift his arm.

The next fifteen minutes made Mitch glad he only swam for fun. The three were racing, or timing themselves and it didn't look fun. He paid attention to the different strokes though and reminded himself to ask Alex which one was the butterfly. Never mind, phone time. He did a quick google search and was pretty sure he had figured it out. The fact that Alex came in first on those laps confirmed it for him.

He watched as they headed towards the locker room, glad that Alex had convinced him to only come to the end of practice and not sit through the entire thing. He'd gotten to sleep in a little later and had even had time to have his morning coffee with Scott. Honestly, Alex was a little bit too good to be true. He wasn't about to let his heart get all excited like it usually did. He always did this, ran head first into a relationship and then saw their true colors after a week or two.

Alex came through the glass door and sat on the bench next to Mitch. "Hi."

"Hi yourself. You looked pretty amazing out there. Not that I would know, but... damn."

"Thanks. It was nice of you to come. Want to get out of here? I haven't eaten second breakfast yet."

"I think my skin is sufficiently steamed and dewy. Second breakfast? Ah, like a hobbit, I see. Yeah, I'm not surprised that you worked up an appetite now that I've seen you in action. Let's feed the monster."

"There's a place I normally go around the corner. Want to ride with me and I'll bring you back?"

Mitch looked up and smiled, then slid into Alex's passenger seat when he held the door. "Sure." Alex was true to his word, it was only about three minutes until he parked at an organic diner that was tucked inside a small shopping center. 

"I know it doesn't look like much but it's a well kept secret. Really good food, made to order. If it's not on the menu they'll make it for you anyway if you ask nicely. 

He didn't exactly know what to expect but once again, Alex was true to his word. The waitress knew him and within ten minutes they had placed their orders and were sipping on tea. "So do you work too, or just swim? Wait, sorry, I don't mean it doesn't seem like work, I'm just..."

"It's fine." Alex smiled to make it clear there were no hard feelings. "Musicians get to ask about that sort of thing. And actresses. If you were an accountant I might have taken it wrong though" he joked. "But no, I only swim. I'm in the pool 4 or 5 days a week and in the gym almost as often. We do some demonstrations, visit classes and things and do meets around the country as well. But I'm lucky that I don't have to work, a few of the guys do. My parents are insanely amazing. I went to college on a full swimming scholarship so they're giving me the money now that they would have paid out for school. It's enough to get me through the next Olympics and then I'll have to get a real job." He stared down at the two heaping plates the waitress put on the table. "Need anything Mitch?"

He looked down at his omelet. "Everything looks perfect." They ate in comfortable silence, a rarity for a first or second 'date'. "That's really kind of your parents, to support your dreams that way. I know I wouldn't be where I am if not for mine."

"Well I got very, very lucky in the parent game. I picked good ones."

Mitch looked up, confused.

"Well, fine, they picked me. I'm adopted. But I like to take the credit."

"Seems fair. Did you always know, or is that really personal? It is, sorry."

"It's okay. Yeah I've known a long time, it's an open adoption. They did a good job of handling it, especially since Lisa is a bit of a loose cannon. Sorry, she's my birth mom."

"So you know her? That seems like a good thing, but also a little bit weird."

"I didn't really get the whole 'who she was thing' until I was 10 or so but yeah, I do. And I totally get how it seems weird to other people but it's really not since it's just always been that way. She's sort of like my aunt. We don't really have much contact though, she bounces from one bad relationship and then onto her drug of choice and then into rehab and does it over again. But my parents are amazing so it's all good."

Mitch was used to playing his cards very close to his chest and was a bit taken aback at how open Alex was about seemingly everything. It was refreshing. "You seem freakishly well adjusted."

"I don't know about that but life is good so why sweat the small stuff? I'm lucky and I know it, that's all. I was thinking that if you wanted to, we could try a real date? Preferably something that doesn't involve water? I know you must have an insane schedule but I can be flexible and we can work something out if you're interested."

"So the aquarium is out?" Mitch joked. "I'm definitely interested. I'm leaving town next Tuesday though, so before then?"

"Sounds good to me."


	5. The Theories

***Two weeks later***

"So?" Scott asked as soon as Mitch walked in the door. "How was date number 2? You're sticking with the whole 'dinner and practice didn't count' thing, right?"

"Yep. It doesn't count unless it's all about me. Obs. It was amazing, as usual. I can't believe we've only known each other a month; it's so easy. He's fun and unfailingly polite. When was the last time I met a gentleman? What have you been doing while I was gone. Did you leave the couch?"

"I took a quick power nap to help with the jetlag and then, well, exactly what I'm doing now. There was dinner delivery involved earlier. Come on now, details."

"It was nice Sis. We had a perfectly normal date: dinner and a movie."

"Sooooooooo???" he asked, expectantly. 

Mitch sat down on the couch next to him, trying to hide his smile. "Sooo, curious cat, we're going out again Sunday. We had to juggle schedules but it's not like I'm not used to that."

"Did you two sit in the back row of the theatre?" he asked, eyes wide and mischievous.

"SCOTT! Actually, no. He didn't even kiss me goodnight. Well, no, he kissed my cheek and he held my hand and said he had a great time but not a REAL kiss. It's getting sort of weird. At first I thought it was him being a gentleman but now, I don't know. Maybe he's not interested. Is it possible we're just friends?"

"Um, I think two pseudo dates, two real dates and planning a third is more than friends, Einstein. Not that you should take love advice from me."

"I thought you and Paul were good?"

"Just haven't seen him for anything other than a quick here, there, thank you queer. I'm not sure there IS much more with us, you know? I mean he's nice and it's all good but..."

"Not head over heels Scotty?"

"Nope. Good enough for now though, we're going to be too busy to worry about it and I won't say no to some stress relief since he's so happy to provide."

"So uncouth. I know though, life's about to get crazy. Such bad timing too, I'd really like to spend more time with Alex. We're doing a wine tasting on Sunday, maybe I'll invite him to visit one night while we're on tour? Or just invite him home and see if he stays the night? I think it's time to put a move on because he seems to be waiting for me to do it."

"Thirsty girl."

"Have you SEEN HIM!?!?!! Girl please. I'm Death Valley over here. I wanna run my tongue along those abs in the worst way."

"And lower."

"Hells yes. Now, enough about that because I have to wait until Sunday. What are you watching?"

"In the mood for a classic?" He let Mitch get settled under the blanket before hitting 'play'. "I wonder if it's a sports thing? Does he like, save it for matches or whatever?"

"Meets. Um, I hadn't thought about that. He has one tomorrow, do you think that's why? Wouldn't it make more sense to do it beforehand though and get that off your mind?"

"I don't know. Maybe he's worried he'll pull a muscle?"

Mitch clobbered Scott in the head with a pillow. "SCOTT! I swear."

"There was that time...."

"It was NOT my fault."

"Nope, but he broke his wrist anyway. I'm just saying..." Scott mumbled through the pillow which was being shoved into his face.

"Shut up! He was drunk."

"Obviously."

"What the fuck does that mean Stripmine?"

"Not that you're not fuckable, jesus Mary. I'm saying that, as a top, in order to fucking fall over and break my wrist I'd have to be WASTED. I've fucked drunk lots of times and never, EVER have I come close to wiping out. Granted, there have been a few times that we slowly sank towards the bed or floor but never a disaster that ended in a damn hospital visit."

"Okay, okay, you're forgiven. If for no other reason than to make you shut up."

"Gracious of you, Queen Grassi. So you need to find out cause if he's planning around meets or practices, that's weird. But not even a kiss?"

"Maybe because I'm too irresistible for him to trust himself to stop?" Mitch offered.

"Maybe. Or maybe there's something else. Hey, maybe he's on drugs and can't get it up." He broke into laughter, imagining how bad Mitch's luck would have to be for it to be true. "Oh god, can you imagine!?!!?"

His eyes got wide and his face seemed to freeze.

"What, what did I say?"

"What if you're right? Oh god, oh god, oh god. NO. No no no. Mommy is NOT evil enough to deserve this karma. He is beautiful and sweet and oh god, it must be true. There has to be something wrong with him and... you know what though, screw it. I don't even care, I can take care of myself just fine. And there's no reason he couldn't make me fairly happy, so whatever. I don't even care. As long as the drugs aren't gonna make him crazy or violent or something."

"Tell me you aren't serious? God, you are."

"Hell, you said it yourself that there's more to a relationship than sex."

"Well, yeah, but BOTH is awfully nice. Call him and ask, I want to know."

"No, he has a meet tomorrow, remember? And this conversation definitely needs to be done in person. I guess I'll find out Sunday night, one way or another."


	6. The Winery

"It's not nearly as much fun if you don't get to swallow" Mitch whispered, chuckling when Alex spit his wine out forcefully and turned a pretty shade of pink.

"You're awful."

"I am not. You'll have to trust me on that. For now." He'd been slowly building up the flirting all afternoon and while Alex didn't really flirt back, he didn't seem to mind it any.

He slipped one finger through Mitch's belt loop as they walked to the next table. "I have to admit that they all started tasting the same around glass number six."

"But the descriptions are so fun. Who knew wine could be flamboyant? It's not like there was a boy in a hot pink belly shirt on the label" Mitch asked.

"I'm still wondering about the 'buttery' one. Sounds disgusting."

"But it was good"

"It was, I think. But honestly, they're all fine."

"You're not nearly enough of a snob Alex. At least not about wine."

He turned and looked down at Mitch with what he hoped was a scowl. "Is that so?"

"Which part am I in trouble for? Let me know so I can do it again -- I don't mind being in trouble." He watched Alex's nostrils flare and could imagine the words he was biting back, although he really wished he'd come out with them.

"I'm going to make you walk to the car."

"Nooooo, you said you'd get it. It's pouring, and my hair, and the sweater!"

Alex just chuckled. "You're lucky I'm nice. As if I didn't spend any time on my hair."

"I still can't figure out how you do that. Maybe you can show me tomorrow morning?" He knew he was being bold, but damn if he wasn't going to make himself perfectly clear.

"We should talk about that. On the way home, okay?"

Not the answer he was hoping for. "Sure." There was no way THAT wasn't alluding to something bad. Oh well, it couldn't be any worse than what he and Scott had thought about the night before. He cooled it with the comments though and Alex's words stayed on his mind as they went through the last tasting and made their way back towards the lobby.

"I'll be right back, okay?"

Mitch looked out the door at the dark sky and pelting rain. "No, I'll go. We may as well both be drowned rats."

"I don't mind Mitch, really. Let me. Please?"

"Fine. Pamper me if it pleases you."

"It does. Be right back." He gave Mitch's hand a quick squeeze before dashing out through the rain. He waited in line and then pulled the car up right in front of the door. He didn't get out, but reached over and pushed the passenger door open as Mitch darted towards him. 

"Oh it's fucking nasty out there!" Mitch said, closing the door as quickly as possible. He dabbed at his face, trying to dry it as well as he could. By the time he was settled into his seat Alex was out on the main road. "So, should we get it over with now?"

"Oh, the talk? Sure." He concentrated on driving through a twisty section of the road, then turned off the radio. "This is one of those things that doesn't get easier even though you've said it before. Know what I mean?"

"I'd really rather have it blunt and honest. You don't need to wrap it up in a pretty bow just so you don't hurt my feelings. Just say whatever you want to say."

"Okay, I'm asexual. I don't, well, I don't have sex."

Mitch thought he had every response possible ready and waiting, but he filtered through his options and came up empty handed. "Can you explain?"

"I'm not sexually attracted to anyone." When Mitch didn't say anything, he continued. "Okay, it's like this. You're not attracted to women, right? I mean, have you ever seen a girl and thought 'I'd really like to put my dick in that?'"

Mitch wasn't sure if the reaction he was trying to bite back was laughter or a squeal of disgust. "Are you serious? You're cracking me up. But point taken, I don't think I've ever thought about a woman like that. I don't see them that way."

"Well neither do I."

"Okay. Wait, and you don't feel that way about men, or in my case want to be bent over, either?"

"Exactly. That's it exactly."

"So why are we in a car going home from a wine tasting? I mean, this is not a 'friends' thing."

"I don't want to be your friend Mitch, I have friends. I want to date but not have sex."

"And those things aren't mutually exclusive in your world?"

"No. At least not always, I hope" he answered sadly.

"And NOW is the best time to tell me this? You couldn't tell me, oh, I don't know a month ago? I mean, sorry, I'm not angry really. You are who you are andit's all good. But why didn't you tell me?"

Alex sighed, then readjusted his grip on the steering wheel. "It's a little like coming out Mitch. Every time you do it you have to try to decide WHEN and how and it's always hard, you know? When do you announce that you're not who they think you are? When are they a good enough friend that it feels like a kind of betrayal to not tell them? I'm sorry, I am. But Mitch I enjoy spending time with you and I like you. A LOT. And I didn't want it to end."

"We thought you might be impotent from drugs."

"WHAT?" Alex flung his head to the side, aghast, before turning back to the road. "Oh my god!"

"So this is better I guess." He turned his head and studied Alex's profile. "So no sex-sex or.... where's the line?"

"A general rule? I guess anything involving body fluids. Honestly I don't like to kiss all that much but I will, I know people like it. But not heavy make-out sessions or anything."

"Have you ever tried it? Sex I mean? Or can I not ask that?" He almost felt bad asking but Alex was an open book about everything else, so why not.

"Have you ever had sex with a woman?"

"NO" he answered, his voice giving away his feelings on the subject. "But that's.... oh. So how do I know I don't like it? You're right, I've heard some of this before. Okay. Sorry, that was stupid of me."

"It's okay, I'm used to it."

"Doesn't make it right. I'll try to think before I speak from now on."

"And I'm not on drugs, by the way. And everything down there works just fine. There's nothing 'wrong' with me, I'm just ace."

"Sorry, I was trying to lighten the mood, not accuse you."

"So you and Scott talked about it?"

"Well, yeah. We haven't even kissed, which I get now but it got my curiosity up and after the movie we came up with theories about why. It was better than thinking you didn't want me or weren't interested.

"Oh I'm interested, but no, I don't want you in that way. I uh, I get that it's usually a sticking point so if you want to uh, I mean if you want to date other people or whatever that's fine."

"Is that how it usually works? Your boyfriend just gets his kicks on the side?"

"Usually. I'd just rather not know about it."

"Well that was a lot to take in. Ready to change the subject?"

"Please and thank you. And Mitch?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for being pretty cool about it, even if you don't want to see me again. I get it, really. But I want you to know that I've had an amazing time with you and I'm really glad I got to know you."


	7. The Talk

Mitch quietly walked into the apartment, making sure to lock the door behind him. "Scott?" he called out, trying to remember if he had been going out. He was headed towards his bathroom but stopped to knock on Scott's door just in case.

"Hey? Oh... Mitchy" he said, earbuds still dangling from one ear. "Is he here?" he whispered.

"No, just me."

"Oh, damn, sorry girl. Want to talk?"

"Yeah, let me get comfortable first. 15 minutes?"

"Wine? Or are you wined out?"

"Sure, anything. Thanks Sis." He washed and moisturized his face, then changed into sweats and a t-shirt before making his way back towards the living room. Part of him wanted to just curl into bed and hope that he'd magically wake up tomorrow with answers, or at least ideas. But more than that he wanted to talk to Scott while it was still fresh in his mind and with tour looming a mere 2 days away, he didn't really have time to wait.

Even though Scott had joked the other night about something weird going on, he really didn't expect it. There wasn't a single cell in his body that hadn't expected those two to go crazy tonight and make up for some lost time. He hadn't expected Mitch home tonight and certainly not alone. One idea had popped into his head earlier and he'd made himself scarce just in case Alex lived with his mom or wife. But no, it was something else and he couldn't wait to find out what that was.

"You'll NEVER guess." Mitch said, picking up his very full glass and leaning back onto the couch.

"I thought tonight that maybe he was married."

"Wow, how did I NOT think of that?" Mitch asked. "But no."

"I have one question. Do we hate him?"

"No, not at all. I sort of wish I did. I wish he WAS married, or on drugs, or something that would make this easy and obvious."

"I'm dying over here Molly, can you just tell me already?"

"He's asexual, he just doesn't do any of... well anything. He dates, and apparently it's fine for me to date other people, but damn, it is a crying shame that no one gets to appreciate that body."

"Isn't that friends? I mean-" Scott rubbed his chin, letting it sink in. "What's the difference? Teach me something."

"It just feels different. Trust me, how I feel with you is NOT what I feel with him."

"I KNOW that Mittens, I know YOU feel that way, but how does HE feel? Is there a difference for him? I honestly don't get it. I'll try, but..."

"There must be because he said he didn't want to be friends, he has those. And he treats me like a date, I mean, he got the car for us and he just... it feels normal. That's probably not a nice word, the right word, but I'm still struggling girl."

"You won't offend me, promise. You'll have to google this shit. Or wait, Tyler!"

Mitch rolled his eyes so far back that they actually hurt. "I'm so dumb. How the hell did I not think of Ty? I'll call them."

"I don't know if Ty's asexual or, they're aromantic right? Isn't that sort of the same or in the same realm of... hell I don't know? But if anyone knows, it'll be them."

"You're right. Hold on, yeah Ty is aromantic I think and so Alex is homoromantic? I need to google and talk to Ty like right now."

"It's not too late in NYC yet, go for it girl. And then let me know what the hell you're going to do with, well, that answer is not much, but about Alex." Scott said, giggling at his own joke. "But seriously" he said, grabbing Mitch's hand as he stood. "Don't settle, okay? You're amazing and I want you happy. In EVERY fucking way possible. Alright?"

"I never have before and wasn't planning on starting now."

"So maybe you don't have to drive yourself crazy here? It is what it is, right? I'll be around if you need me."

"Thanks Scotty." He crashed onto his bed and got comfortable before calling Tyler. "Hey Ty, it's Mitch."

"Mitch, how are you?"

"I'm fine, but I need help with something, do you have a minute?"

"I have at least seven, maybe eight for you. What is it?"

"My date tonight told me he's asexual. But Ty, I really, really like him and this is just..."

"So what is this strain I hear? Are you sad? Or mad?"

"Sad."

"Well that's okay, I guess. But it's not like he has some life-threatening disease. But you're mourning what could have been?"

"I think so. He's so amazing."

"He still is."

"But how does it work? We can't date, really. I mean he said I could see other people to, you know, for other needs but.... I don't know."

"You don't know? About which part? Dating him at all or using him?"

"Do you have to be so damn blunt Ty?"

"Life is short and I have no time for bullshit. Is sex really that important?"

"Yes! Well, maybe. I don't know. How can it not be?"

"Or have you been TAUGHT that sex is the end-all, be-all in a relationship? Seriously, when was the last time you had sex? Days? Weeks? Months?"

"More than weeks, certainly" Mitch answered.

"And you're still alive. Well look at that." Ty mocked. "It's a miracle. Call the Enquirer."

"But I don't have a boyfriend, Ty. It's not the same. I just don't know if I can... I just mean... god I feel so shallow and stupid right now but it feels important."

"Then say good-bye but be polite about it. Don't send him a fucking text or ignore him. If you like him then he must be pretty great and I can tell you that being Ace is NOT an easy hand to play in this world and he's probably been treated like shit about it before. Don't be an asshole. Promise?"

"I won't. I promise. Thanks."

"Call me if you need anything else Mitch."

"Thanks Ty, love you."

"Bye sweetie."

He put the phone down with a deep sigh, somehow even more confused than he had been before he called. Talking with Ty was supposed to HELP, not muddy the waters even more. Fuck it, deciding what to do about Alex would wait until tomorrow.


	8. The letter

Alex came out of swim practice Monday afternoon expecting to grab dinner with his friends at the little vegan diner on the corner. He picked up the piece of paper tucked under his windshield wiper and threw it onto the seat, assuming it was junk mail and planning on putting it the trash once he got there. 

He parked the car, but curiosity got the better of him and he looked at the envelope he grabbed before opening his door. His name, sprawled in a neat but obviously human hand. He settled back and opened it up. 

_Alex,_

_Hi, I hope this is OK. I had a lot of things I wanted to say and questions I wanted to ask and somehow this seems the best way to do it. I'm leaving tomorrow so I realize you may not be able to get a letter back to me even if you want to, so I'll put my email address at the bottom. You have my phone number, too, obviously. Wow, I haven't written a letter in a long time and I'm apparently really bad at it._

_First, I hope I wasn't too much of a bitch or anything last night. I really didn't mean to be, you just sort of caught me off guard. I hope you understand and can forgive me. I thought a lot last night about you waiting to tell me, because that was honestly the part I had the hardest time understanding. But I get it now, I think. At least I've accepted it, both that it was hard and that you did the best you could. I've certainly upset people coming out and you're right, it feels like there's never a good time._

_I talked to Scott and I also called a friend of mine named Ty. Ty's agender and aromantic and I thought they might have some advice, might be able to help me understand your side of things a little better. Neither of them helped very much though, honestly. No, that's not true, they just gave me more to think about instead of less and I guess that's not really a bad thing except that I feel like I'm running in circles._

_The thing is, Alex, I really like you. I enjoy spending time with you and I miss you a little bit already. I know you're not gone, but you have to understand that I thought we might really be going somewhere. That sounds wrong, please stick with me on this one. I should probably rewrite this, but somehow I think you should get the first rough draft, see the real me. I want you to understand where I'm coming from._

_And that's just it, I feel so damn open with you and we get along so well that I'm tempted to ignore the screaming 'RUN' in my head and see if there's any way this could work. Is there?_

_I know this letter barely makes sense, and I'm sorry. I guess what I'm hoping is that maybe we can talk more, like this, while I'm on this leg of tour and maybe it'll help me figure things out? I know it's a lot to ask but I have the feeling that you might actually humor me and try. Somehow I just feel safe asking. Is it too much? I hope not._

_You don't only have to talk about this, either. I just want to get to know you better._

_I'll wait to hear from you,_

_Mitch_

_p.s. Scott thought you were married and that's why you didn't take me to your place._


	9. The Response

Mitch,  
So your telling me Scott thinks I'm an impotent, married druggie? What did I ever do to him? Is he mad cause I ate his fried clams? ;)

Thanks for the letter. I don't write many either so I'm not sure how this will turn out but you're right, I'm happy to do it. Actually writing you today will probably be the hi-light. I had a meet today, just a state-wide so nothing to major. I should have come in second. I've raced most of these guys before and my times recently have been strong but one of them shot ahead of me and put me in third. So my place on the U.S. team is a bit in jeopardy and I really need to kick ass on Saturday. Wish me luck. Oh god does that sound like I'm blaming you? Absolutely not I swear! Sorry. Just my day.

So I'm rereading your letter, it's here on my table and you said in the beginning that you had questions but there aren't many. You did mention that we might be going somewhere and that now we can't? I guess your right in some ways. I didn't know you were looking for forever, so I'm sorry. Maybe I should have, it's a wonderful thought. I guess that at your age and with as busy as you are that I thought maybe you were just looking for great? For now? And that, Mitch we could be. I could be really good to you, at least for awhile. Maybe that's enough? 

I get that you're eventually going to fall for someone who can give you everything you want so it won't be a surprise when it happens. Remember, I've done this before. But I like you too, a lot, and I'd really like to take you to dinner when you get back. Or whatever you want to do. Or both. I know you're busy and juggling me along with whoever else you're seeing might be too much. But if you're free and want to, just let me know when you'll be back and I'll make it happen.

I'll answer anything you want to ask, but I don't know what you need to know. Don't be shy. I don't bite.

You said you wanted to get to know me better so I thought I'd close this with something random. I'm absolutely petrified to fly. I've done it before for meets and vacations but it takes a prescription and if there's alcohol too, even better. Needless to say it also requires a cab to take me wherever I'm going once I get there. 

I sort of like the letters. It's easier to do hard things here than in text, I think. You have time to write out your entire thought, or 8 of them, and it takes the stress off making every sentence perfect. I'm glad you didn't rewrite yours and I won't mine, either. You can probably tell by the scratch outs. I can NOT spell. But not being face to face makes it easier doesn't it? Annonimity? Anonymity?hell I have no idea how to spell that. 

Why is your head screaming 'Run'? Scared you'll get hurt? There's no guarante(e??) in any relationship, right? You go into it with happy thoughts and it goes where it goes. And think of it this way, at least you know I won't cheat on you. Just a little Ace humor there for ya. Come on, it's at least a little bit funny.

I know you're busy, I looked up your schedule. Don't give up any beauty sleep writing me, okay? Not that you're not gorgeous, I mean shit okay I'm going to stop while I'm ahead. Just take care of yourself out there, alright?  
Goodnight,

\-- Alex


	10. The Shade

_Alex,_

_It was awesome to get your letter. I sound like a dork but I'm putting it out there. Thanks for not giving up on me. The thing is that I finally figured out one of the nagging feelings in my gut that was bothering me. It was the whole 'hypocrite' thing. I've always said, and believed, that I would date anyone who I felt a connection with, anyone that gave me butterflies and treated me right and well, anyone I wanted to. And then I sort of panicked and part of my brain knew I was being stupid. So, at least that's one thing settled. I mean I'm still not sure about everything, but I'm feeling more settled. I don't know... I probably didn't have any reason to be unsettled. Are you rolling your eyes at me? Is it possible to use the word 'settled' more? These are important questions._

_Anywaaaaaay, three shows in three days makes mommy a very tired boy. I'll write more later but I had one question, since you said I could ask. Are you Gray, or a Gray? How do I phrase that? I'm guessing not because you didn't say you were but I just think I would rather hear you say no than have the thought lingering in my head._

_I'm laying in the dark trying not to wake up Scott. It would probably take a bomb, but still. I'm going to go and I'll try to write tomorrow. I owe you a real letter, I just didn't want to go too long without checking in._

_\--Mitch_

_p.s. Can I call you Ace?_

*** *** ***

Mitch,

I guess you can call me Ace although it reminds me of being called 'sport' by my dad. Sort of has that vibe to it but I'm sure that it's very cute when you say it.

I actually didn't roll my eyes but you may have hit a record with the settles. That's one of those sentences that sounds funny. Or at least it does to me. Record with the settles. Yep, still weird. Remember the wiggles? They wore the colored shirts and did songs? My brain is a scary place sometimes and now they won't get out of my head. New subject.

I hope you got some sleep last night. I went out with my roommate and some friends and stayed up WAY too late. Now I'm hungover and have to go to the gym but I'm procrastenating by writing you. Don't want to look like an obsessed creep so I'll just answer your question and call it done.

No, I'm not gray. I did, well, I did go pretty far with someone once. I was young (ha like i'm 60 now or something, right?) and I thought I was willing to do just about anything to keep him happy. He thought it would bring us closer but I resented it and when he pushed for even more, I baled. See, the thing is that its just human nature to push and ask for more when its something you want. I don't even blame him really. But I was miserable and promised myself that I wouldn't go there again. So now when I date I have really firm limits and bounderies. There are some things I miss but it's just not worth the risks ya know? So was that way to much information? Sorry.

Okay Ive put it off long enough. Gym time. 

\--Alex


	11. The Decision

Mitch turned slightly in his chair, hiding his screen from Scott without even thinking about it.

"Well now I'm REALLY curious. Porn? Is it good? I wanna see the cute boys too." Scott asked, leaning in and trying to peer over the top.

"It's not porn, I'm writing to Alex. And no comments necessary thankyouverymuch."

"Woowowww, a little overprotective much? Let me see."

"NO!" he squealed, pulling his IPad against his chest. "It's private."

Scott threw his hands up in mock exasperation. "Are you serious right now? You know, my mom once told me that if I was ashamed of a relationship, it wasn't healthy or right."

"I'm not ashamed, it's just private you dumb ass!" He took a moment to shut down the program before giving his full attention to Scott. "Will you actually help me with something?"

"Private? I don't even know what word MEANS in relation to you. And yes, of course I'll help you. But why are you writing him?"

"Because I want to. I thought I'd invite him with us for the fourth. That's alright, right?"

Scott went over the question once again in his mind, looking for the trick question. "Like a date? Since when do you need my permission? Why wouldn't it be?"

"I... okay fine I will then. Okay? Thanks." He clicked his letter back open and then waved his hand toward Scott, banishing him. "Look, this is an important one and I haven't had time so I really, really need to finish."

"You really like him" Scott announced.

"Yes Captain Oblivious. Even more than when we left. Yeah. Go away now." Mitch stuck his tongue out before grinning to soothe his harsh words.

"Love you too Muffintop!"

*** *** ***

Hey Ace,

I don't have much time but I have a million things to say. I don't have ANY idea where to start so I'm just going to go with whatever pops into my head.

I don't want to date you and other people. I know you said it was okay and I get that you've done it in the past but I just don't think it'll work for me. For one, if I was dating and sleeping with someone else, I'd feel guilty seeing you. What would I tell him, that you were just a friend? Lying doesn't seem like a good way to start any relationship. But I'm afraid that's what would happen, that I'd end up treating you like a friend even though you might still treat me like a boyfriend and that just seems like a really fucked up situation and it really doesn't seem fair to you. I feel like you're offering because you think it's the only way I'll say yes and that's sort of sad. You should be... I don't know. I don't know how to phrase what I'm feeling but let's just say that it doesn't seem right. Besides, I have NO TIME to date two people. I'm not even sure where I'll find the time to date you. But I want to. There, I said it.

You're right, it's not like you usually know going in how it'll end. At least this way I know what the major hurdle will be, so I guess it's better? New anyway. I'm not sure how I'll deal with the whole abstinence thing but like Ty told me, it's not like I've been getting any lately anyway.

Long story short, I guess it's a tentative yes? At least to a few more dates so I can see how it feels and goes? We get home on the third and some friends of ours are doing a big party for the fourth and then we're all going to watch the fireworks from a friends roof. Want to come? We could do dinner beforehand, I know you need to eat. Party goes all day so we can be flexible. Pick me up at five? Let me know if that sounds good.

I had a million thoughts in my head this morning and now they're gone. Shit. I need a computer implanted in my skull so I can just save my thoughts or write to you while I'm in the shower.

So you need to fill me in on the hard boundaries so I don't do anything that bothers you. I'm sorry if my flirting at the winery made you uncomfortable. I sort of feel like I've never dated before, this labyrinth looks new -- make me a path to follow? I don't want to unknowingly be rude or push you or anything. Help me please. You've taken my hand and kissed me on the cheek. Those are okay? Or only in some circumstances? Can I do those things? Can I rest my head on your shoulder? Can we share a blanket and snuggle when we watch a movie? Do you ever spend the night, sleepover style? How does dating you work? 

Sigh. I'm not sure I'm cut out for this, honestly. I haven't dated a lot and I'm not good at it under more, well, average circumstances. This? I'm clueless. Am I overthinking this? Probably. It didn't seem this hard when I was with you before, but I don't want to spend my time with you questioning my every move or word.

I hope that when I see you again all of this fades into the background. I think it will. I'll be home soon. Thanks for the time, and the letters, and the answers.

Yours,

Mitchy

*** *** ***

Mitch,

I'll be there at 5 with everything red, white and blue on that I own. I can't wait. And we'll talk about limits but don't overthink things. I like holding your hand and my shoulder is all yours.

Thanks ;)

Did that sound normal? You can't tell that I was dancing around my bedroom for an hour after I read your letter, can you? No? Thank God.

\-- Ace


	12. The Fourth

Alex changed his clothes twice and then questioned his shoe choice for over 10 minutes. When he was finally close enough to satisfied, he made a quick stop at the florist on the corner before making his way to Mitch's apartment. He nervously ran his hand through his hair before knocking twice. When a pretty blonde woman open the door he did a quick double take to make sure he was knocking at the right apartment. "Hi, is Mitch here?"

"Are you Alex?" She asked, a half empty red solo cup in her hand and a grin on her face. 

"I am."

"And are those for Michie?"

"They are" he answered nervously, rethinking his choice. Maybe they were a bit too much. He seriously considered just thrusting them into her hands or finding somewhere to hide them. On second thought, wasn't there some sort of summer cold going around? He could always flee and call later and say he was sick.

"In that case I'm Angela and it's very nice to meet you. Come on in. Mitch is still making himself pretty, she's in her room." She motioned towards his door then spun back towards the dining room to rejoin a group that was clustered around the makeshift bar.

Alex didn't want to interrupt Mitch but he didn't want to head over into a big group of strangers either so he knocked. "Hi, sorry if I'm early."

"No problem. I'm probably even later than I think I am but, wait, are those for me?" he asked, a slight blush rising to his cheeks.

"Yeah, they are." Alex handed him three perfect roses, one red, one white, and one dyed a beautiful blue. 

"They're beautiful" Mitch said, gladly accepting them. "Let me grab a vase and put these in some water before we head out. I can't remember the last time a gorgeous boy brought me flowers" he said, heading towards the mostly drunk group in the kitchen. "Alex, this is Angela, Paul, you know Scott of course, Naomi, and Ben and Kris." 

"Hi everybody" Alex answered while Mitch turned and filled the vase. 

"You're a lot hotter than I expected" Kris joked.

"Why? Does Mitch usually date ugly guys?" Alex asked. 

"No, just figured cause of whole 'no sex' thing" he answered "but you're definitely hot enough to get some."

"Ben, you'd better tighten the muzzle on your stupid boyfriend" Mitch sassed. "That's as wrong as saying all gay guys are cute, and we sure as hell know that's not the truth." He stared Kris down until he muttered an apology. "We're leaving now, don't wait up."

Once they were on the landing, Alex spoke. "Don't worry about it."

"He was rude and wrong and I'm very sorry" he fumed.

"It's all good, I'll just add that to my profile on grindr. I'm now ugly, impotent, married and a druggie. I'm quite the catch. I'm sure the responses will be flooding my inbox any day now."

Mitch couldn't help the giggle that escaped his lips but he was partially serious when he asked the question that was on his mind. "My friends are assholes, aren't they?"

"Scott seems nice but Kris? Maybe, but he was also sloshed so who knows? But you certainly put him in his place. That was kind of you but unnecessary. Although, Mitch?"

"Yes?"

"I'm not mad, not really, because I didn't ask you not to say anything before. But if you could not scream my sexuality from the rooftops I'd appreciate it."

"Oh god I totally outed you didn't I? And the thought never even crossed my mind because we're all really open. Shit I am sooo fucking sorry."

"I get it, just keep it in mind okay? I totally get that you want to talk about your relationship and I'm not saying to keep it secret. Just be select about it please. Want to make it up to me?" Alex asked, reaching for Mitch's hand.

"Absolutely. Name it."

"Your choice. Either drive or pay for dinner. Keep in mind that it's the fourth and traffic is going to be insane."

"I am more than happy to pay" Mitch offered.

"I was hoping you would say that because I'm starving. Let's get out of here."


	13. The Fireworks

Mitch drew the fork slowly out of his mouth, licking off the last remaining chocolate. "Divine." He set the fork down delicately, then wiped the corners of his mouth with his napkin before pushing the plate to the side and clearing the space in front of him. "Did you enjoy yours?"

"How could I not? This may be my favorite new place in the world. Maybe I could wash dishes and they'd let me eat here every day?" He picked up his fork and took most of the remaining cake off Mitch's plate in one fell swoop. "Oh wow this is amazing" he said once he'd had a chance to wash it down. "It's like a pudding browning."

"Welcome to the world of gluten-free cake. So Alex?"

"Mmmm?"

"My place is going to be a madhouse. They're all going to be playing stupid drinking games and be drunk off their asses. Just thinking about it makes me cringe. There are probably two or three dozen people there by now and it's going to be crowded and loud. They'll probably end up missing the fireworks and go running into the street trying to get a view of them once they start going off. Do we have to go back?"

"Of course not. I have a blanket in the jeep, we could go watch the fireworks at the pier? It's fairly quiet and they're gorgeous over the water. I have a lifeguard access-gate card and I know a nice place to watch from."

"That sounds perfect." He waved his card in the air to get the aloof waiter's attention, then quickly signed.

*** *** ***

It was almost dark as Mitch followed along behind Alex on the sand. They'd come through two gates and driven a ways on a road that was more sand than pavement but Alex had seemed sure of where he was going so Mitch was happy to come along for the ride. And true to his word, they were almost alone. There were 20 or so other blankets on this small stretch of beach but compared to the madness that he could see towards the pier, this was practically deserted.

Alex waved hello to Brianna who was settled along with her husband, then started opening up the blanket he had tucked under his arm once he found a good spot. "Can you grab that end?"

Mitch obliged and soon they were settled. "Do they start at 10?" he asked, powering on his phone.

"Yeah. Not too long now."

"Where will they be?"

"You're in for a treat Mitch. You just have to lay back and enjoy the show. You can't miss it. Where did you watch them from last year?"

"We were in Texas. We played a fair and they had fireworks after. It was nice. You?"

"I was here." Alex lay on his back, his hands under his head. "So you were worried it would be weird. How is it? Being with me, I mean?"

"It's nice. Really nice. I wasn't really worried too much but you know how things feel differently when you're apart? Memories aren't always reliable and you start thinking that maybe you're making too much of some things or not paying enough attention to others and just generally second-guessing yourself and going a little bit crazy?"

"That's you *not* worried?" Alex teased.

"Ok fine. I was worried that I wouldn't feel the same, that I would feel differently now that I know, well, there aren't any words to put in here that even begin to adequately describe how much changed. 

"Now that you know I'm Ace?"

"It feels wrong to say yes but you're right, that's probably the best word to use. I was just worried I would feel differently, or not as much. Maybe that's why I was procrastinating with my damn hair and hiding out in my room. But the second I saw your smile and those twinkly damn eyes of yours and you even brought me flowers. You're sweet. So Alex? Am I allowed to flirt with you?"

"Yeah. You're so damn good at it that it would be a crying shame if you didn't. It's better now that I know that you know. You know?" he joked. "Look, if I know you're kidding it won't bother me. If I think you're trying to make something happen, that wouldn't be cool. You flirting seriously with other guys in front of me wouldn't really make me very happy either."

"I wouldn't do that."

Alex extended one arm. "I didn't think you would. Want to lay down? You'll be much more comfy watching from down here."

"Are you sure?"

"Mitch, please stop overthinking everything. I offered. I appreciate your consideration more than you know but, well how blunt do you want me to be?"

"Painfully."

"If you crawl on top of me and start grinding and kissing me, or get handsy below the belt, date over. But you snuggling up while we watch the fireworks is definitely fine with me. Okay?" He reached over and took Mitch's hand, curling their intertwined fingers up onto Mitch's chest. 

"Okay thanks for laying it out, and I'm just trying not to assume or push you but if you promise to tell me if I go too far, I'll try to relax. This is really nice. You smell amazing by the way. What is it?"

"Eu de Ace? It's a secret."

"Oooh, you're such a man of mystery."

"Not really. I think it just reacts well with all the chlorine. You fit really well, comfy?"

"Your chest is one hell of a pillow. I'm perfect."

As the first explosion rocked the sky and the firework burst seemingly over their heads, Alex whispered into the night "You just might be."


	14. The Brunch

"So" Scott said, wandering into the living room still drowsy with sleep. "Is there coffee and how was your date?" He headed into the kitchen, turning his head side to side to look for coffee. 

"Sorry, Ace and I are going to brunch. You're on your own." Mitch slipped on his shoes and checked the time.

"Standing me up for a guy who doesn't even put out" he mumbled, smiling when Mitch smacked him in the arm.

"And last night was amazing, thank you. Have you been to Cinefamily? It's an amazing theatre. Couches, giant cupcakes and amazing flicks. Old stuff, indie stuff, anything good. And did I mention couches to snuggle on? It was a blast. You should check it out sometime."

"Theatre, got it, sounds fun. I'm still asleep. And wait, you're seeing him again for brunch? This has gotten pretty fucking serious." He settled for water before sitting down on the couch. "What's it been, three months? Mitch, get the remote?"

He spied it on the floor not four feet from where Scott was sitting and knew he had seen it too. "Since my dramatic sea rescue it's been closer to four I think. Or almost five? I'd have to check my calendar and mommy doesn't have time. And you're kidding me about the remote, right? No."

"Fine. And here I thought you loved me. No coffee, no remote. Next you're going to tell me you're ditching me for dinner."

"Nope, I'll be here. He's actually heading to San Fran for a meet tomorrow so think happy thoughts."

"I'll think very fishy thoughts. Wait, that sounds wrong. Fast swimming thoughts. Speedy speedo thoughts! I'm so funny."

"Sure Scott, sure. Okay, I'm heading out. I'll see you later alligator."

"In a few hours, cow manure."

"Eloquent, fuckface." Mitch paused, noticing that Scott was still sitting on the couch watching a blank screen. "You're pathetic." He dashed over, grabbed the remote and dumped it on his lap before quickly locking the door behind him and practically skipping down the steps.

*** *** ***

"Hey sweetie." Alex stood and waited for Mitch to sit down, then handed him a menu.

"Hi babe. Any news?"

"No, unfortunately. The rankings were supposed to be out today but I haven't heard anything. Hopefully coach will have some info tonight."

"But you have to go to this one to even qualify for the Olympic team, right?"

"Yep. No pressure though thank God."

"Oh, hi. Veggie omelet and coffee?" he asked the waitress, then turned his attention back to Alex. "Scott and I are both thinking happy thoughts."

"Thanks, I need them. How is he?"

"Good. Sad that I didn't get him coffee but he'll live. We're doing dinner tonight so we can get all caught up."

"I'm glad. Hey Mitch? If I go to the Nationals in Indianapolis, would you want to come? If I qualify I can email you the dates and you can check your schedule?"

Mitch's face broke open into a huge grin. "I would LOVE to. Absolutely. And you WILL qualify, so you may as well send me the info now."

"I like your confidence. We go for almost a week but any days you could make it would be great. I don't want to jinx myself though so I'll wait until I get a confirmation first."

Their plates arrived and Mitch stared in astonishment at Alex's three separate plates.

"No, I know, this is a lot even for me. My eyes may have been bigger than my stomach this time."

"Well I guess there's always a first" Mitch joked, then stole a few of his hash browns.

"Much better, now it's perfect." He watched Mitch's mouth stop chewing and his eyes grow big. "I'm kidding honey, kidding. I think. Hand me the ketchup?"

After they had finished, Alex walked Mitch to his car. He let him unlock the doors and turn back around before Alex took his hands in his and stepped close. "I'm going to miss you."

"It's not fair that I'll be gone when you get back. Work schedules are a bitch. I'll miss you too Ace." He smiled and turned his head slightly for the kiss to his cheek he was expecting.

Instead Alex countered his move and pressed his lips gently against Mitch's for a few seconds before pulling away. "I'll see you soon."

Mitch pulled his hand free and pressed his fingertips to his lips. "What was that for?"

"I just wanted to. Is that okay?"

"MMmhmm. Feel free anytime. Bye babe."


	15. The Email

Scott could tell from the look on Mitch's face that it was a good phone call. It was definitely Alex, if the use of 'babe' and the tinkly tilt to his voice were any indication. Damn, that boy was in DEEP. He was the only one going deep though. He laughed out loud at his immature train of thought, then got up and went into the kitchen to distract himself before he snorted again and Mitch bitch-slapped him. At least he hadn't said it out loud. For the most part, he kept his jokes to himself and he wasn't opposed to them dating, not really. Mitch seemed happy and that was all that mattered. There were many, many things about Mitch that he didn't 'get' and this was just another. Scott didn't personally do the tattoos or the burning smelly wood or crystals or fashion blogs either. His choice of boyfriends fit into that category as long as Mitch was happy.

"He got it" Mitch said, his words almost slurred by the large smile on his face. "I'm so happy for him. If he does well at Indy, there's just one more main competition in the winter and then it's Olympics time!"

"Good for him. Are you going to go?"

"I hope I can. He's emailing me the info as soon as he can, they just got to the hotel. It's such a huge thing, I still can't believe he invited me. Maybe I should invite him to a show when we have an off-day? We're only going to be gone a week though, but maybe during the next leg? I wonder what he does for the holidays, I need to ask and plan and ---"

"Mitch, honey? It's a meet, not a wedding. Slow down. But I'm obsessed with how happy you are, I'm really happy for you. Now where is our damn food?"

"They're taking forever. Want me to call?"

"Nah, they'll be here eventually."

"And I know it's not a damn wedding Scott, but it's... I don't know how to explain it. Things mean more when the endgame is set lower. My god what's happening to me? I need to read more because words are failing me."

"It's the lack of food. Your brain is starving. Chicken and fries will fix all."

"I don't know how you can eat them cold and soggy. It's gross."

"Fries are fries Melinda." He heard the knock at the same time Mitch's phone chirped. "Meet back here in two?" he joked. He signed and took the two bags from the delivery person and walked back towards the couch where Mitch was still glued to his phone. "Crap, no ketchup" he mumbled and got up once more before finally sitting down and opening his dinner. "Miiiitchy, put the phone down and eat with me." 

He did put his phone down but he sat like a statue instead of reaching for his dinner. "I don't get it."

"What?" Scott asked, mouth half full.

"He wants me to get my own room."

"Okay? Nothing weirder than usual, is it? What's wrong?"

"I just... I don't know. I thought maybe..."

"Mitch, it's not like you were gonna be doing anything anyway, right? Why does it matter?" His eyes met Mitch's then and he almost choked at the amount of sorrow filling them. "Sis? I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. No, not really. He didn't even say anything about it, like 'Hey, hope it's okay if we have separate rooms because...' you know? Like a reason would have been nice."

"I don't know how to help because I really don't get how you two work, but maybe it just didn't cross his mind? Have you two slept, and I mean actual sleep, together before?"

"No. We haven't talked about it either, I guess. I fell asleep on his couch watching a movie once but not like in a bed, together, on purpose."

"So I don't think he did it to hurt you?"

"No, no, I guess not. But I'm mad and I don't know why. I've been a fucking saint about all of this so why is THIS bothering me?"

"I don't know but your food is getting cold. Eat." He returned to his meal when Mitch finally started picking at his. "Why don't you just talk to him about it? I sound like my mother being all mature and shit but you should just call him and ask why."

Mitch put down his fork and pushed the container back off the edge of the coffee table. "He has a meet in the morning and I don't want to stress him out or fight or anything beforehand."

"And we're leaving tomorrow to do a video and three shows. Why are his feelings more important than yours?"

"Because my entire future isn't riding on 4 minutes. I'm fine."

"I guess that's valid. Did you check the dates? Is it even an issue? I mean, if you can't go, there's no use in worrying about it right?"

"Yeah, I guess not. I'll check in a minute. Give me a nasty fry and hey, do we have any wine?"

"That's a silly question. I'll get it."


	16. The Airport

Mitch found a corner where he could sit on the floor between the end of a row of chairs and a window. He'd gotten Alex's text almost half an hour ago but there hadn't been time to call back while going through security. He had 35 minutes now though, and didn't know when he'd have this long again during the next several days. "Hey" he responded when Alex picked up and said 'hi'.

"I kicked ass today honey, shaved almost half second off my best time. Came in second, blew the guy who beat me last time out of the water by two strokes."

"Do you have any idea how dirty that sounds?" 

"Ha oh crap you're right. What is it with sports and sex? Innuendos everywhere. How are you?"

"I'm okay. At the airport waiting to board."

"Did you get a chance to check on Indy?" Alex asked, folding the clothes that he'd hung in the closet. "I'm getting ready to check out, it's a shame we're missing each other by just a few hours."

"Yeah it is, I'd rather do this in person. I did check and I can be there for most of it. I have to leave two days early but I can be there for your meets. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. What's up? The whole 'in person' thing doesn't sound good." He zipped his bag and then sat down on the bed, giving Mitch his full attention.

"I was just wondering why we can't share a room. Is it against the rules?"

"Not league rules, but my own. I won't."

"You just won't? Can you tell me why?"

"Do I need to?" he asked, perplexed.

"Yeah. I'd really like to know. Explain it to me. We could get two beds, obviously."

"Still not a good idea Mitch. Two rooms is easier. Is it really bothering you?" He didn't let Mitch respond though before continuing. "Stupid question, of course it is. I'm surprised, I thought... okay what about it is bothering you? Is it because you're coming with me and feel like I won't pay enough attention to you or --"

"NO" Mitch interrupted. "I'm not pitching a fit like a 6-year-old, Alex. I just want to know why it's a rule. Do you think I'm going to tie you down in your sleep and have my way with you?" When a 'no' didn't immediately come out of Alex's mouth, he continued "Have I given you any reason not to trust me? I thought after the kiss and the invitation that---"

"And THIS is why there are boundaries Mitch. Remember my whole 'it's human to want more' speech? I DO trust you or I wouldn't have invited you. But you're not like me Mitch, it's not just a matter of trust."

"Could you be more condescending?" He picked a piece of lint off his shirt and then adjusted his legs to make himself more comfortable.

"I don't mean it to sound that way. I know I'm being defensive and I'm sorry, but do you think I haven't had this conversation before? I know this is new to you honey and you're amazing, and I want you there and I do trust you, but I've seen this show before and sharing a room is NOT a good idea. You'll have to trust me a little on that one." He waited, but other than the intercom in the airport, the phone was silent. "Mitch?"

"I want to order room service and watch a stupid movie and just talk" he answered softly. "I want to see you first thing in the morning unshaven and with your hair crazy. I just want... I'm not asking for anything I think is unfair Ace."

"It's a huge compromise in my book Mitch, even if you can't see it."

"So instead I have to compromise? I should be good at it by now, I sure do it a lot" he hissed. "It feels like it's always me doing it, honestly, and that's not fair. I hate the words coming out of my mouth because I promised myself I'd never push you."

"But you are. Mitch, it's one of the most important meets of my career. I can't be distracted, or worried, or tired. I wanted to do something nice, I thought you would appreciate the invitation and would want to support me but... sorry, I thought it would be nice. Never mind."

"So you don't want me to come? Just like that?"

"Maybe it's best if you don't."

"Because I wanted an explanation? Because I wanted to discuss it instead of just automatically doing whatever you want? Because I dared to have an opinion on the matter? Do you not want to see me at all?"

"NO. Of course not Mitch, no."

"Well what am I supposed to do? Forget it ever happened?" In a bitchy high-pitched voice he added "my boyfriend doesn't trust me or want me around but that's okay because I don't have any feelings or a brain in my head."

"Mitch, we'll talk later, okay? Maybe after you've had some time --"

"I've thought of nothing else since last night. I've had time. I want to see you and be with you and you only want me around if I'm a fucking lemming. If I don't behave myself, I have to go to my room alone. No, strike that, I always go to my room alone."

"Ouch. I'll think about it, okay? I'll think about what you said and maybe we can work something out."

"I'll await your decree, my liege" he said.

"The sass, it burns. I'm sorry you're upset, I really am. And I don't want you to be a lemming. I'm just trying to take care of myself, just like you are. But I hear you, I do. Okay? Can we talk tonight?"

"Maybe tomorrow."

"Okay, call me whenever, alright? Day or night, I know the time change will be hard but call anytime."

Mitch disconnected the call and put his phone into his bag. A huge shadow fell over him and he looked up to see Scott standing in front of him, a hand outstretched to help him up.

"Didn't go well?" he asked.

"No, no it didn't."

"Come get on the plane and we can talk. It's a long flight."

"I'm not used to not having any power in a relationship. It's so unbalanced."

"Because you can't woo him or threaten him with sex" Scott answered, sinking into his seat.

"What do you mean? You may actually be onto something Stinkfoot."

"In the past you've used sex as a tool. I think everyone does it, not just you obviously. You know, if your boyfriend does something sweet you can pay him back with a blowjob. You're sorry? You can put out and feel like you're even. But I think you feel unwanted. Like if he doesn't" he glanced around, then ducked his head even lower. "If he doesn't fuck you into the bed he doesn't need or want you? You're usually the one with the power to walk away and this time, I think you're worried that you're in deeper than he is."

"How do I know how he feels?"

"Exactly. I don't know Mitchy."


	17. The Offer

*** Smut, language, general warning :)

They talked about the situation on and off through the flight, then dropped it through rehearsal, dinner, and then studio time. Once they were back at the hotel, settled into their double bed room much like the one Mitch had planned to share with Alex, their argument crept back to the forefront. "Scott?"

He refilled Mitch's glass before taking the last swig and finishing the bottle. "Are you still driving yourself crazy?"

"How do I know if I'm just missing sex in general, or if I'd need sex with him to be happy, or if our relationship is enough and I'm being ridiculous?"

"Well, I could help you out with the first one."

"Scott, we have rules, no sex while either one of us is in a relationship."

"I know the rules Moonpie, and that's why I haven't offered before now. YOU were the one that brought it up. But, to be fair, we didn't plan on either of being in this sort of relationship, either. And didn't he tell you that you could date other people?"

"Yeah, he did, but I don't want to. Too much time, and work, and confusion."

"That's why a quick one-off with me is a good answer."

"You're right about that even though I wish you weren't. Don't make this easy Scott. So you and Paul broke up?"

"Not so much broke up as just stopped talking. I haven't seen him in weeks. You've been too busy with your man to notice."

"God, I could certainly use some stress relief. And you're right, he wouldn't care. He told me it was fine but that he didn't want to know unless I started getting serious with someone else. He's been so ridiculously good to me though, I don't want to hurt him."

"So don't tell him. You'll feel better though, you know how much fun we have. And maybe after a good fuck and a good nights sleep, you'll be able to handle the whole Indy thing. I honestly don't know how you've gone this long without."

"It's been okay, actually. But I do miss you and the wine is yelling 'YES' in my head."

"Want me to hit the lights Mitchy?"

"Please."

*** *** ***

That evening, Alex put laundry in the washer and ate a quick dinner with his roommate before retreating to his room to write.

Mitch,

Feels weird to be back to writing letters, but they worked well in the past. I thought about you, and what you said the whole way back from San Fran. I want to say that I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you and I obviusly did but I hope you know that I didn't mean to. You cought me off guard, honestly and I didn't say things well. I hope that I can explain better now.

You asked me once why I was so hush about my past relationships and I think I told you that the problem was that comparisons are a bitch. Im gonna risk it though because, even though you may doubt it, I do trust you. I trust you to not push me to do things that made me unhappy. But maybe telling you about them will help you see my side? I don't know, but it seems like its worth a try.

I don't know where to start. I don't know how to sum up everyone. There's Isaac, he was my first real boyfriend. He pushed and I gave in until I was miserable. The last months with him were worse than all the other heartbreaks since then I dealt with for standing my ground. I wont forget that, ever. Then there were a bunch of rebound boys that I dated two or three times before breaking it off. I was lonely and scared and they served there purpose. A few years ago I met Ryan and he put up with me for about 4 months before leaving me for someone else. Same with Trey, and then Greg who lasted 7 or 8. I hadn't figured out the pattern yet, but I did with James. He was an amazing guy, really and we had a blast for about six months. I fell pretty hard. This time when the small kisses led to longer ones, then to sleepovers, I saw it coming. See the thing is that no matter how good their intentions were, being that close to something you want is hard to resist. Every time, bending that rule led to them needing things I couldn't give. If we can sleep why can't I hold you? If I can hold you why not when I'm hard? If I can when I'm hard, why can't I get off? Is it that hard to just lie there and let me feel good? Can you hold me while I jerk off? Will you touch me? A shower? You touched me, can I touch you back? I tried though with James. I gave more than I had with anyone since Isaac, I thought if I just gave a little more he'd be happy. It didn't work though, it never does.

I don't know how to try to explain that I'm trying to protect you, and me, and us. It's a point of no return it seems. I don't want you unhappy. I don't want you laying beside me thinking 'If this is okay, why isn't THAT fine too?' Saying 'no' to you didn't mean that I care about you any less. If anything, your to precious to me to mess it up like that.

But I DO want to give you what you need. I called the hotel in Indy and they have two bedroom suites. Would that work? We can order room service and you can see me first thing in the morning. Your right Mitch, you cant do all the compromising. I want you there and I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. Forgive me? 

\-- Ace


	18. The Acceptance

_  
Alex,_

_I don't want to end up another name in your list of boys who made you feel like you weren't good enough. Who dragged your heart around without concern and used you. I don't want to be like them and push. But if I did, I'm sorry. In my defense, I just wanted to know 'why' though. I wanted to be involved in the decision instead of just dealing with whatever you decided. I didn't mean to catch you off guard though and I can see that I obviously did._

_You spent a lot of time trying to explain your side and I appreciate it so I'm going to return the favor. You may not believe me or, I don't know if that's the right words but I feel like putting it into words might help me understand too. So here goes. You're my boyfriend but I don't really quite see you that way. It's different because of all the rules and boundaries you have in place. We're not only friends though, because I DO desire you and I feel a LOT differently towards you than my friends._

_I guess it's almost like you're a straight guy I have a crush on. That's not exactly right either, obviously but it's the closest I can come up with. There are things in my head that I want but that I would NEVER do, right? Cause it would be really uncool and you would be pissed. That's sort of where my head is, so when the rules are more stringent than I would have with a crush or my friends, they're weird to me and I need help understanding. Does that make sense?_

_And I don't think that I should feel guilty for asking, or for needing help to understand. I get that you've had bad experiences but it was wrong to just uninvite me like that. It hurt and made me feel like you really didn't want me there at all. And the fact is that I'm really insecure with you, and with us. There's this nagging in the back of my head that's wrong, and I know it's wrong, but it still says 'he would if he cared' and I KNOW it's wrong and I probably shouldn't tell you it's there at all but it is. And I'm not talking about sex, I get that, but some of the little seemingly random 'rules' sort of bring him out._

_But of course you're forgiven if I am. I was mad and said and did things I shouldn't have. I say we call it even and move on. Calling the hotel and seeing about a different room was insanely sweet of you and yeah, that sounds good. But ONLY if it's okay with you. You're right, the meet is too important to mess with. So how about this? I'll have Esther book me a suite and if you want to stay in it with me you can. Or you can stay in your room. Or if things are hard, I just won't go at all. We can play it by ear, okay?_

_Alex? I miss you. Things are so much easier in person. I'll call you after the show tonight, it should be around 9 your time. Any chance we can catch another movie when I'm home? I am obsessed with that theatre._

_I know that what I'm about to say doesn't change anything or alleviate any of your fears but I need to do it anyway. I would never physically push you, ever. EVER. Why would I do something that I know will hurt you? I'm just not that selfish. I get it, okay? I will never get to be intimate with you. In any way. Ever. EVER! Do I wish it was different? of course I do. But I've accepted it alright? You're enough for me emotionally and cosmically and intellectually and that's enough. You're considerate, funny, sweet, and good to me. And that's more than enough. I hope I'm enough for you in all those important ways too._

_\-- Mitch_

_p.s. I have one of your tank tops. I 'borrowed' it on purpose. I'm wearing it now. Sorry?_

*** *** ***

Mitch,

The striped one? Damn it, I like that one. Bring it home safe or better yet, overnight that bitch to me. I'm kidding, it's fine. But not about the bringing it back safe part. It's a favorite.

A movie sounds amazing, I'll see what's playing. Your back Thursday, right?

Actually your letter helped a lot. Thank you. Sometimes you don't know how much you need to hear something until its said. I'll talk to you tonight.

\-- Ace

*** *** ***

Scott was grinning when Mitch put his phone down. "So I assume from your dimples that all is good?"

"Yeah, yeah it is."

"I'm glad."

"And Steph? Thanks for last night."

"Oh I enjoyed myself, and you. NO thanks necessary. I'm available so just say the word anytime you need helped out. Wouldn't want you to go blind from masturbating too much."

"Dork. But you are thoughtful, looking out for me like that. I may take you up on that before we get home."

"Down girl, down" he joked, secretly pleased. "I'll handle you but first we need to get to soundcheck and put on an amazing show."

"Sounds good."


	19. The Confession

Mitch hadn't been expecting him and didn't realize until he was about ten feet away that Alex was leaning against a column in baggage claim. "You're here?" he asked, surprised.

"I thought I'd save you the trouble of getting an Uber. Besides, I was sitting around waiting for you so I thought I'd wait here instead. Is it okay?"

"It's YES. Of course. Hi." He wrapped his arms around Alex's waist and leaned in towards his chest. "Eu de Ace. I've missed it."

"And I've missed you. I assume you have fourteen bags?"

"NO, I only have two, thankyouverymuch. Granted, they're bigger than I am and weigh almost as much, but there are just two."

"Well if that's all I probably didn't need to rent the Uhaul" he teased.

"Ha. Ha." He stuck his tongue out, then turned to pull him towards the group waiting for bags. "You ARE kidding, right?"

Alex just shrugged and turned to Scott. "Want a lift?"

"Oh, um, he can't." Mitch interjected. "He uh, no, it'll just be us."

Scott looked at Mitch but knew him well enough to know that this was NOT a time to argue. "Yeah, I'll get a cab. But thanks."

"Alright. Want us to take your bags home?" Alex offered.

"Nah, I've got them. Besides, you'll have enough trouble with Mitch's. He couldn't even get the big one onto the scale in Minneapolis this morning."

"I COULD have but why strain myself when Mr. Strong, Bored and Lazy is standing right there?" he teased. "Besides, I got coffee this morning, you owed me girl. Oooh, that turquoise one is mine" he said, pointing it out to Alex.

He retrieved it, stepping sideways to squeeze in, then sat it at Mitch's feet before reaching over and helping an elderly lady grab hers. "One more? Same color?"

"You're a saint. I swear Alex, could you stop trying to be so damn perfect?"

"Do you want to get it?" he offered, grinning.

"Hell no, it's heavy. It's all yours. I meant helping the lady. You're supposed to help me, obviously, but she was out of the kindness of your heart."

"It's not like I ran into a burning building, it was just a suitcase. Is that one your other one?"

"Yep. I always worry they won't make it back home. They're a wonderland of fashion and I would be devastated to lose one."

"So I assume that means my tank top is in this one?" he asked, pulling the suitcase bearing a bright orange 'overweight' tag from the belt. 

"Damn I missed you." Mitch extended the handle on the smaller suitcase and waited for Alex to do the same on the large one.

"This way to your chariot, princess. Please allow me to escort you. There are bears afoot" Alex whispered, turning his head towards a burly gay man walking past them. He had to put the smaller suitcase in the back seat because the trunk could hardly contain the large one, but finally they were on their way. As they left the parking garage, they noticed Scott standing on the corner waiting for a cab.

"Shit. Stop please? We should get him." Mitch asked.

"Your wish is my command." Alex pulled the car over and with Scott's help they managed to get all the suitcases and the three of them into his truck. He wasn't sure what to expect but an awkward silence wasn't it. Obviously Mitch hadn't wanted Scott to ride with them, but why? He didn't want to be nosey but the two always got along so well that it bugged him for the first twenty minutes of the drive. "Okay" he finally asked "What's going on with you two? Everything alright?"

Scott just ignored the question and left it to Mitch. He returned to staring out the window, wondering whether Mitch would cave under the pressure.

Mitch mumbled a quick "Nothing, babe" but the guilt that had been a constant companion since Alex had surprised him at the airport was gnawing away at him. Somehow it had been easy when it was just him and Scott to pretend that their actions didn't affect Alex simply because they didn't mean anything emotionally. But now, sitting next to him in the car after he'd been nothing but amazing was forcing him to rethink everything.

"Wow, that bad huh?" Alex said, breaking the silence. "So Scott, did you actually have something else you needed to do on the ride back?"

"No, no, home is fine."

"Alright. Sorry if I stuck my nose in." A few minutes later he pulled the car up in front of the door and helped Scott get his bags out. Then he parked in the parking lot and turned off the car to help Mitch unload and take his bags upstairs. There was no way he'd manage that big one alone.

"Alex?"

"Yes?" he answered, his door just barely cracked open when Mitch put his hand out to halt him. "You okay?"

"No. Well, it's fine. You said it was fine but I don't want it to be a secret. I know you said you didn't want details and didn't want to know but I need to tell you. I can't hide it from you, I just can't."

"Mitch if it's about you and someone---"

"Scott, okay? I slept with Scott. We've been doing it for years, it doesn't mean anything. I just.... I wanted you to know."


	20. The Fight

Alex freed his arm from Mitch's grasp and got out of the car, then got both of the suitcases out and set them on the sidewalk. 

It wasn't what Mitch expected but he knew that Alex might need a little time to process. He got out as well and silently took the smaller suitcase and followed Alex towards the apartment.

Alex parked the large suitcase just outside the front door and turned. "I'll talk to you later" he said, heading for the stairs.

"No, please? Ace? You said it was okay, right? You told me--"

"I asked you not to tell me, so let's just forget about it, okay?"

"But I--"

"Mitch" he interrupted, his voice sharp. "I really don't want to hear whatever else you need to say about it. I need to go."

"What about dinner?" he asked, hopeful.

"Not tonight."

"Please?"

"Mitch, I.... no, I can't do this right now. I don't... I can't."

"Alex, just talk to me!"

"You do NOT want me to talk. Because if I did I'd tell you that you're being a selfish prick."

"WHAT? Oh hell no! You told me about 82 times that it was fine! ExCUSE me for being honest about it."

"You just don't get it, do you?" he asked, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "How can you not GET that this hurts? I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW. You're funny, because it was less than a week ago that you were complaining to me that I made all the rules and all the decisions but that's bullshit. BULL -- SHIT. You're in charge of this Mitch, all of it. All I get to do is try to put up a parachute to help break my fall. Look, I am willing to take whatever scraps of you that you deem fit to send my way. I'll settle for the leftover pieces. All I ask is that you don't rub it in my face! And with HIM? I.... you LIVE with him! You're with him all the damn time! I... I have to think about it every.... nothing. Shit, I'm sorry. Forget it. I need to go."

"It didn't mean anything Alex, it's just Scott."

"Then why tell me? If it really didn't matter, why?"

"Because YOU matter and I didn't want to lie and I'm so sorry. You're right, I don't want you to think that we're going at it like rabbits every time we close the door. Look, it was the first time since we started going out, okay? And I haven't done anything with anyone else, I don't want to. I only did with Scott because I was confused about us and angry and I just... it just seemed like a good idea at the time. But I didn't do it to hurt you, I didn't think it would!"

"You didn't think that you telling me that I can't give you what you need would hurt?" he asked, leaning against the wall. "Don't you think that I want to make you happy? Do you think I don't care?"

Mitch stood next to him, leaning against the wall, shoulder to shoulder. "I think you care about me, yes. I'm not sure how much though. But I guess I didn't think you'd care this much about what happened, no. It's not like you two are competing or anything, it was just sex."

"I've heard that before. All of it, actually. And I happen to care quite a bit, in case it wasn't blatantly fucking obvious by now. 'Just' sex. I don't get it. I don't get how anything that intimate can be 'just' anything. I don't understand people, I really don't. I have lost every guy I've ever cared about because of 'just' sex so forgive me for being a little paranoid and doubting you when you say it's not important."

"I, yeah. You're right, it seems like a big thing when you put it that way but the act? Last week with me and Scott it really was just fun. You don't need to be jealous or feel bad or anything."

"Oh well in that case I'll just turn it off and not worry about it. Seriously? Do I look like a fucking android to you? I liked you, I really thought... and now I have to pull back and protect myself and it was so amazing to just let go and fall a little." He wiped his hands on his shorts and then put them into his pockets and pulled out his keys. "Sorry, it's my problem. Look, I'm sorry I freaked out. You're right, you didn't actually do anything I didn't say you could, but I wish you hadn't told me. I'm going to go and you're going to be with him and it's fine but I... yeah. Okay. It's fine."

"Or you could come in and I'll unpack and then we could go to dinner?"

Alex met his eyes, wavering.

"Please? I missed you and I want to see you. Not him, you. Please?"

"I don't know Mitch. I think I need some time to just let it sink in and---"

"I don't want you leaving here sad. Let me take care of you a little bit? Let me help. It'll be okay."

He knew he shouldn't, even though he wanted SO much to be with Mitch. He opened his mouth, fully prepared to say 'no' but instead what came out sounded much more like "Okay."

Mitch smiled and took his hand as Alex put his keys back in his pocket. "Bring the big one in? I owe you a tank top and a really good dinner."


	21. The Tickets

He still wasn't sure how, but they'd gotten through that first awkward evening, and then the next. They'd gone to the beach, Alex finally getting him back in the water for the first time since his near drowning. Mitch had resisted but with a crazy schedule and colder weather coming, he knew it was now or wait until next summer and Alex had been right, that was a long time to be afraid of something. Besides, he had a certified lifeguard with him at all times which made it hard to worry too much.

But he wasn't naïve enough to think that nothing had changed. Alex had been more guarded, more careful with his kisses and body language, more thoughtful of his answers and words. Every now and then Mitch caught a glimpse of 'his' Alex, the one he knew was hiding and staying safe. He missed the nightly texts until bed, the random photos throughout the day and most of all the pet names. Yes, they still talked and it's not as if Alex cut those things out completely, but they were surprises now instead of almost expected.

The problem was that Mitch had no idea how to go back and get them on track. He'd been careful not to push when Alex was distant, not wanting to cross the line and end up pressuring him but the fact was, he missed him. After almost two weeks, while he was staring at his salad, it slipped out. "I miss us."

Alex looked away, then took a sip of water. "Me too."

"I'm glad. As long as it's not just me I'll wait."

"Thanks. Oh, on a happy note, let's do this now so I don't forget. I have a surprise for you. I know it's not quite your birthday but I wasn't sure I'd see you. These are for you. You don't have to take me, they're yours to do with as you wish." He pulled an envelope from his jacket pocket and handed the card to Mitch. "Happy Birthday Mitch."

"Why wouldn't you see me? Are you out of town? I'll be here Alex."

"I didn't want to assume."

"I..." He looked down at the card in his hands but didn't want to just let it go. "I wouldn't want to spend it with anyone else."

"Okay. I'll plan a little surprise then. Open it, please? I hope you like it." Alex knew he would though, they'd talked just last week about how angry Mitch was that he'd completely missed them going on sale and hadn't been able to get ahold of any. Luckily one of the female swimmers had a connection; her brother worked fairly high up in one of the companies who was putting it on and had given them to her, even though she had absolutely no interest. She had been more than happy to race him for them.

Mitch opened the card, ignoring the white envelope tucked inside it. "You're my favorite boyfriend" he questioned, reading the front and grinning before opening it. "and I hope this is your favorite birthday ever."

Alex grinned, glad that Mitch thought it was funny. He'd been undecided for days but had finally pulled the trigger. "So???" he asked, staring at the white envelope.

He'd waited about as long as he could and finally slid his finger under the flap, gently easing it open. "No. These are NOT!" he exclaimed, pulling 12 Los Angeles Fashion Week tickets out.

"So you can take whoever on whichever days. Or give some away if you're busy. Whatever."

"HOW!???.... you.... but..... oh my GOD thank you babe!" He flipped through each one as if they would disappear, then carefully put them back in the envelope. "Seriously, how?" He leaned forward on the table, his dimples flashing as he stared at Alex.

"I know someone. Just got lucky, actually."

"I can't believe you went to the trouble of trying to find these and oh wait, oh hell no, these are EXPENSIVE" he hissed. "Let me pay you for them, please?"

"Oh 'hell no' right back at you Mitch. They're a present. And I didn't pay for them, so don't worry about it."

"Are you sure? Because if you're lying and have to give up supper or dinner or second breakfast for a month I will NOT be happy."

"I promise. Although if you'd stop stealing my clothes it would help."

Mitch's eyes fell and he bit his lip. "I'm sorry, I'll give your stuff back tonight."

"I was kidding. But now that you've confessed, what do you have?"

"One of your blue team USA t-shirts. Sorry."

"Really, it's fine." He was amused at how sheepish Mitch looked. "I don't even like them, they're too narrow through the shoulder. Besides, I have like four of them."

"And I think a pair of your socks. Scott says they're not his but I don't know how they ended up at ooh wait, and your white tank top. But you said I could keep that."

"I did" Alex answered, amused. "Anything else?"

"I don't think so."

"Well damn it, now I really have no idea where my hoodie is."

"Oh, do you mean the green heathered one?" Mitch asked sheepishly. "I think I might have it."

"Might?"

"Um, definitely might. Probably absolutely."

"I don't think I have so much as a pen of yours. It's not like we're getting naked, how am I losing so many clothes at your place? We're at mine most of the time."

"I'm good at borrowing?" Mitch offered. "Can we get out of here and walk around the block? I could use some air."

"Sure."

"Can I wear your jacket?" he asked once they were outside.

"No! It's not even cold and you're trying to steal it, aren't you?"

"Well if I have to give back everything else..."

"So Mitch, are you just a klepto or is there some reason you like my clothes even though they don't fit you?"

"They smell like you and I like to wear them when I miss you. Is that okay to say?"

"Yeah, of course. Or you could just call me, or ask to see me."

"I don't want to push you Ace. I know you needed some space and time and it's my fault so I'll deal with the repercussions."

"I'm just trying to match you, Mitch. I don't want to stick myself out too far, you know?"

"But I'm REALLY far out, literally I can barely see the light from the tunnel of in."

Alex contemplated that for just a second. "You don't seem it."

"I just didn't want to push you, I was trying to give you some breathing room."

"I'm breathing fine Mitch." He took off his jacket and laid it across Mitch's shoulders. "If you want me around, I need to know. Okay?"


	22. The Sleepover

Alex stood at the top of the stairs with Mitch, not ready for the night to end. "I'm glad we talked."

"Me too babe, me too. Do you want me to get your clothes?" Mitch asked.

"Nah. Another night. But I am taking my jacket home with me, you don't get to add it to your collection."

Mitch shrugged it off his shoulders and handed it over. "I like the hoodie better anyway."

"So do I - so don't get any ideas. I'm just going to start buying two of things."

"I'll give it back next time I see you, it barely smells like you anymore."

"Ah, I see, you're on rotation?" Alex joked. "I'll get something else smelly for you to trade."

"Deal. So you're going to come with me to Fashion Week, right? The days you can?"

"If you want me to, sure."

"Of COURSE I want you to, silly! You really should assume, Alex. You're my boyfriend, that's pretty high up on the Mitch-chain of priorities."

"I'll keep that in mind. I should go, but is there any chance I could have a kiss first?"

"Oh yes please. And thank you." Mitch answered, stepping closer. He expected a hesitant, gentle kiss but instead ended up with Alex's shirt clenched in his fists after his bag dropped to the ground. He was pressed against the wall, the back of his head cradled in one of Alex's large hands. He stopped thinking about anything except the lips moving against his, the gentle nip of his lip making him pant when Alex stepped back.

"I... damn it's hard keeping my distance from you Mitch. I want to be close to you and it's too dangerous. But don't think I don't want to. I miss you."

"So come in? We can watch a movie? I'll even share the blanket." He waited a moment, watching Alex's eyes shift. "I feel like you need something but I'm not sure what it is."

"I... yeah. Just an urge, it's no big thing. It's not time yet, things are still 'off' but if you're with Scott maybe it's safe? I don't know."

"I'm not 'with' Scott but I don't know what you mean. You're safe with me."

"I'm just lonely. I want touched. Does that ever happen to you? Probably, duh, never mind. But you can do it because you're okay with the consequences. I don't want to start something, I just want to be close. That's why I said the Scott thing, I shouldn't have brought it up. I don't know." He sighed then, and stepped back. I should go."

Mitch stepped forward and reached for his hand. "I would love to do whatever you want. Just tell me, exactly, so I don't mess up okay? We can stay out in the living room or go in my room, your choice."

"Is Scott here?"

Mitch pulled out his phone and sent a quick message. "Not sure, I asked." He wasn't sure what to make of Alex's confession, although it wasn't all that surprising when he really thought about it. He and Scott, and all of his friends touched all the time, but Alex was much more physically aloof with even his roommate. "He's not" he said, after his phone chirped. "Is that a good or bad thing?"

"I'm not sure. I need you to promise me something."

"Sure Ace."

"If you get um, you know, feeling that sort of way, will you tell me so I can go?"

Mitch ran the sentence through his head a few times. "If I get turned on?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not sure, I mean where do you want me to draw that line? Hard?"

"Wherever, I mean I'm not sure really how it works. Everyone seems different. If you want more, I guess."

Mitch smirked. "Well now I'm REALLY wondering just what you have planned in there. But I won't lose my head and get stupid, okay?"

"Alright."

"Does that mean you want to come in?"

"Yeah, I think so." He was glad Mitch didn't let go of his hand because those first few steps were hard. Alarm bells were going off in his head but even though he knew that tonight might be the beginning of the end, he couldn't bring himself to stop. "Can we go in your room?" he heard himself ask, then closed the door behind them.

"Okay Alex, you're in charge. What's next?"

"You mentioned a movie, that sounds good. And we can cuddle?"

"Sounds great. What are you in the mood for?"

"Something without sex in it" he joked. "I'm serious though. Something geeky?" He took off his socks and shoes, then his jacket and shirt before slipping beneath the covers. "Want to get in?" he asked, smiling at Mitch who was perched on the edge of the bed. "You can take your shirt off, if you want."

"Um, are you sure?"

"Yeah, I want to feel your skin. But only if it's okay with you."

"Sounds amazing to me." He lifted it quickly, then draped it over his desk chair before joining Alex in bed. "Closer?" he asked when Alex raised his arm and invited him to lay on his chest.

"If you want."

"If YOU want Ace, I'm good either way."

"Then come here" he answered, kissing Mitch's forehead when it was settled on top of his chest. "Are you comfortable?"

"Absolutely. Except you know this one arm is always homeless but I'm dealing."

"I know! Arms are constantly in the way."

When the movie ended an hour later Mitch realized that Alex was asleep. He was drowsy too, kept awake ironically by the fact that his arm was asleep. He knew that he should wake Alex up but he didn't want to. He wanted to sleep right here, curled up in his arms. He decided that he'd turn over and free his arm and if Alex woke up, he'd play it off that he was in the process of getting up. If Alex slept through it, he'd close his eyes and join him. Alex's breathing changed and he shifted position slightly as Mitch lifted and turned but a moment later Mitch realized that he was still down for the count. Maybe this was what Alex needed, for them to sleep together and see that everything would be okay.


	23. The Morning

Alex woke slowly and it took him a minute to process the fact that he wasn't in his bed. Mitch. Shit. Mitch was still asleep, his hair splayed across his cheek and his mouth parted slightly. It was a nice picture to wake up to, but he knew he couldn't stay. A glance at the cute clock on the wall told him it was either 5:30 or 6:27 which was early, but it was better to get out now while he could.

He'd decided, although it was an obvious decision. The actual getting out of bed though wouldn't be as easy. They had thrown off the blanket in the night for some reason and it was now completely twisted around his legs and under Mitch's knees. His right arm was trapped too, wrapped over Mitch's shoulder where his hand was being held hostage by Mitch's. It was sweet, and amazing, and also a mess. He sat up as much as he could, trying to get a visual on his hand to figure out how to escape without waking up Mitch.

"You should stay" Mitch whispered. "Breakfast."

"I can't, I'm sorry. Let me go?"

Mitch kissed the back of Alex's hand, then released it. "Practice?"

"No. But mornings don't go so well for me. I didn't mean to fall asleep during the movie last night, I'm sorry about that."

"I'm not. But Alex, nothing will happen. It's nice to wake up with you." He rolled onto his back, adjusting the blanket. "Coffee at least? I'll get up. We can be vertical and turn on lights even" he mumbled, his voice lazy with sleep.

"Are you serious? Maybe I'm dreaming?"

"Of course I'm serious and I'm too tired to be dreaming. Look, I'm already up." He sat up, then fell forward. "God it's early" he moaned into the blanket. "Another hour?"

"You can, I'm going to go. I'll call you later."

"No, no, I'm up." He sat up straight and pulled the blanket off, then managed to stand. "There's an extra toothbrush in my bathroom and anything else you might need. And shirts or a hoodie won't be a problem" he joked. "Ten minutes to coffee babe. You get first dibs on the bathroom but only if you go now."

"I'm going, I'm going" Alex mumbled, still in shock. Mitch hadn't whined, or been upset, or worse tried to guilt him into anything. Well, except coffee and that was NOT something he was going to argue with. He took care of things and cleaned up enough that he could stand himself, then let Mitch take a turn. He headed into the kitchen for a glass of water and was surprised to see Scott sitting at the table.

"Are you here or am I REALLY drunk?" he asked, his voice slurred.

"I'm here Scott so I think the answer is 'both'. Hi."

"Um, okay. You okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked, uncapping the bottle.

"I just uh never mind. Um hi." Scott took another bite of the sandwich he'd hastily put together. "Much mayo. Too much. He's gonna be a happy girl today huh? That's nice." 

"Mitch? I hope so. I like him happy."

"Me too. Why are you awake?"

"I could ask the same of you."

"I was out partying and nooooow I'm eating so I'm not sick tomorrow."

"And by tomorrow you mean today?" he teased. "Good plan. And I'm awake because I'm not used to sleeping in other beds."

"Yeah I bet. Why did you?" Scott asked. "But he's nice to sleep with, doesn't snore."

"Not that I noticed, no. I wonder if I do."

"I'll ask him. He'll tell me."

"I'm sure he would."

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeey" Scott said slowly, his eyes wide. "Did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Did you two sleep or SLEEEEEEEP together? But maybe that would be bad. I don't know."

"We just slept, Scott."

"Oh well, he'll still be happy. Damn girl is head over HEELS in love with you."

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah" Scott answered, shaking his head emphatically. "It's really fucking ridiculous but also very cute. Oh wait, I had something. He told me you told you about... wait... does that make sense? He told me" he said again, pointing "that he told you about us. I told him" he continued, still pointing wildly "that he was stupid. You're cool?"

"I'm fine. I don't like it, but it's fine."

"That's confusing. I don't know how you can be so chill. I mean you are like ice. Ice COLD brother. Smoooooth. Like a monk. Hey do you have to shave for swimming?"

"For big meets we do, yeah." He finally saw Mitch appear and watched his eyes widen as he realized that Scott and Alex had been talking. Not only that, but Scott was drunk and had probably said whatever was on his mind. "Ready?"

"Yes! Oh hell did he? You can't listen to him, he's hopeless when he's drunk."

"He was fine, actually."

"Now I'm REALLY scared" Mitch hissed, pulling Alex towards the door. "Get some sleep Scottland, in your BED this time. Alright?"

"Bye bye lovebirds" he called.

"I am so sorry Alex. We can walk, it's not far."

"It's all good."

"It's so quiet out here, I'm not used to seeing it almost deserted."

"Everyone else is still asleep. Sorry I got you up so early."

"Worth it."

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah." He squeezed Alex's hand a bit tighter and tried to resist skipping down the sidewalk.


	24. The Denial

"I'm going to MISS YOU!!!" Scott wailed, swinging his empty glass around in the air. "Get me a refill?"

"Mommy is PACKING. I'm going straight from Indy to meet up with you guys so I have to take everything. You PROMISE you'll take my extra suitcase with you when you leave on Wednesday?"

"Yes, yes, just put it by the door."

"I swear to god if I get to Nashville and that suitcase isn't in our room I will KILL you. Do you understand me Stringbean?" He pulled out his phone and set himself a reminder to call Scott and remind him that morning.

"Yes ma'am" Scott joked. "Refill?"

"Nope, need to pack and I'm spending the night at Alex's."

"NO! You are NOT!?? But WHyyyyyyyyyyyyy, it's our last night!"

"Sherlock, our flight is at 8 am tomorrow. He's nervous and I want to spend the night. Besides, it may be my last chance to sleep with him until he's finished his meets, and then we only have one free day and night before I leave Indy, so...."

"I give up trying to understand what the hell is going on with you two. So you have separate hotel rooms?"

"Yep."

"Even though you've been spending the night together here?"

"Yep."

Scott rolled his eyes. "I hate to ask the obvious but I will. Why?"

"Because he wants it that way. I'm sure he'll end up in my suite with me at least, but he needs to sleep and focus. Why are you so worried about my sleeping arrangements, anyway?"

"The whole 'loving you madly' has something to do with it, I'm sure." He got up and made his way to the kitchen dramatically, refilling his glass with a loud sigh. "I want you to stay and drink with me. And other things, if you're up for it."

"Actually we should talk about that, and I guess now's as good of a time as any. I don't want to have sex with you any more while I'm dating Alex."

Scott was still two steps away from the couch and turned to head into Mitch's room, sure he had misheard. "Huh?"

"Consider me in a relationship."

"But, uh, you're not having sex, right?"

"Nope" Mitch answered, popping his 'p' as he yanked another shirt off its hanger.

"So? And this is different from last month HOW?"

"Because I say it is? Since when do we owe each other an explanation?"

Scott sat down on his bed and adjusted the pillows behind his back. "You don't. I'm cool, just confused. If you say you're taken, you're taken. Fine."

"Thanks."

"We'll see how long that lasts on tour. Want to place a friendly wager?"

"Nope. I'd hope you would support me, actually." He carefully folded the shirt he was holding and placed it in the suitcase, then stood in front of Scott. "This isn't how we do, Stephanie."

"I know" he apologized. "Never mind. I just want you to be happy Mitch, that's all."

"I am."

"How?"

"Are you being a smart ass or are you really asking?"

"I'm not the enemy here Maria, I'm on your side. But you never want to talk about it, you're so damn defensive whenever it comes up and that makes me think you're trying to convince yourself. He seems like a really nice guy, I like him, I do. But is he right for you? I don't know. And I've tried to ask but you just assume the worst about me and I don't know what I did to deserve that."

Mitch sat down beside Scott, then leaned his head against Scott's shoulder. "I love him."

"I know. That's why I'm so worried."

"You don't need to be. He's really good to me."

"I'm glad."

"And good FOR me, you know?"

"In a lot of ways, yeah, I see that."

"And the sex just doesn't matter that much. You know how when people go blind or something they say their other senses are heightened to compensate? Well that's sort of how it feels. Every touch is more special, and the way he looks at me sometimes, like I'm his entire world is just... it's everything."

"I'll take your word for it, I guess. Have you told him how you feel yet? Has he told you?"

"Nope. I feel like he's waiting for me to do it and I'm waiting for him. I'll get brave one of these days."

"Or drunk" he offered.

"Either way works but I'm hoping for brave."

Scott wrapped his arm around Mitch's shoulders, then kissed the top of his head. "If you're happy, I'm happy for you."

"Thanks. We need to find you someone so you can worry about your own relationship instead of mine."

"I'm not saying no. I feel like I know everyone in this town and they're all just wrong but keep your eyes open. I'm a desperate, thirsty girl. So no Alex's for me, alright? Cause there's no way in HELL I could do that."

"I didn't think I could before, either."

"Nuh uh, this is not like trying one of your crazy foods. I would NOT like it."

"Fine, fine. Now would you get out of here? I need to finish packing and you're distracting me."

"I'm going, I'm going. I can feel the love, Mariah. It's touching, truly."


	25. The Texts

Scott had just gotten back from a very nice date when his phone chirped. He knew it was probably Mitch just checking in so he got changed into something more comfortable and settled himself onto the couch before he opened it. Ryan had been a breath of fresh air and he was still a little giddy and probably way more optimistic than he should be. Still, he was definitely going to see him again, the sooner the better.

Mardi Gras: Scott? I need help

Beyoncé: Whats wrong? Where are you?

Mardi Gras: Airport. He's a fucking asshole and I'm in public so I've gotta stay mad or else ruin my make-up.

Beyoncé: OMG what happened?!!! Call me.

Mardi Gras: Can't, public. Waiting for him to call. I don't even know where to start.

Beyoncé: Wait which airport?

Mardi Gras: Indy. Godforsaken hellhole shipowners

Mardi Gras: Shitheads! Fucking autocorrect

Mardi Gras: There aren't any rooms. ducking swimmers

Scott was glad Mitch couldn't see him because he lost it. Ducks. Swimmers. It was priceless. He knew he shouldn't mention the typo but there was no way he could just let that one go.

Beyoncé: Literally the funniest thing ever. You had six rooms. What?

Mardi Gras: I am going to throw my phone at the next person who looks at me. 

Mardi Gras: He's not out!!! His team and coach have no clue. How is a mystery. And my room was gone because we sat on the goddamn plane for three hours on the runway. What is karm as problem?

Beyoncé: So you can't share his?

Mardi Gras: *karmas. He's gonna call me. Like I can't! he just stood there while his fucking teammate said shit about not blaming him for not wanting to share a room with 'one of them'

Beyoncé: WHAT? In English this time munchkin.

Mardi Gras: So they didn't have my suite. I had a goddamn confirmation email and shit and showed them but he was a prick.

Beyoncé: Alex was mad about it?

Mardi Gras: The desk guy was the prick but A wasn't much better. I looked at Alex for some help because I just assumed it would be fine and he pulled me to the side and asked if I did it on purpose. Like WTF? 

Mardi Gras: And I was mad but I get it cause of his ex-issues so I just told him no and I thought that would be the end of it right? Like I go to his room at least tonight and we figure something out right?

Beyoncé: Sure

Mardi Gras: But he goes back to the desk and is pushing the guy at the desk like telling him to make it work and his teammate is staring me down. So I said 'what?' and he's like 'don't get any ideas'

Mardi Gras: and I told him 'I have lots, but none of them involve either of you naked if that's what you're thinking.' Then he told Alex that he didn't blame him -- Hold on phone.

Mardi Gras: Oh he's sorry. He'd better be. 

Scott tried to distract himself and calm his 'fix it' monsters, as Mitch so lovingly called them. He knew Mitch just wanted to bitch, rightfully so, and didn't want Scott to tell him what to do or try to solve his problems. But it was hard to not tell Mitch to get on a damn plane and come home, and he didn't even know the whole story. But it sounded like a clusterfuck and was probably even worse. Mitch did not sit around in airports for fun.

Mardi Gras: He wants me to stay. Said I can crash in his room.

Scott typed out "Well that's nice of him" but then deleted it.

Mardi Gras: I don't know. I hate this. Why am I so worried about him being upset? Its like I can't stay mad.

Beyoncé: The competition? The loving him thing? I don't know. 

Mardi Gras: If I leave and he swims poorly I'll feel like shit.

Scott chewed on his fingertips, resisting the urge to type what he really thought.

Mardi Gras: Okay I'm going to go back. Crisis averted. Thanks. 

Beyoncé: But what happened at the hotel? Call me in the cab?

Mardi Gras: Don't you have any of your own drama? Don't want to think about it, I'll just get mad. Need to do some calm breathing and get aligned.

Beyoncé: Whatever works for you. Call me if you need me.

Mitch made his way outside and grabbed a cab before replying.

Mardi Gras: Hey how was your date?

Beyoncé: Really, really good. So if you don't want to deal with happy right now, let's save it.

Mardi Gras: Hell no, mommy desperately needs some happy and so do you. Cute?

Beyoncé: Yeah, very. And smart which is a nice change. We actually had a nice conversation.

Mardi Gras: I'm really glad. Get some?

Beyoncé: Nah, but I will haha

Mardi Gras: No doubt. Okay I'm here. Wish me luck.

Beyoncé: You shouldn't need it but you got it sis. Break a leg.


	26. The Reunion

Mitch walked down the hall, his suitcase rolling behind him as he watched the numbers on the walls steadily climb until he reached 442. He checked to make sure the hallway was clear and then knocked softly.

Alex opened it, pulling Mitch into his arms. "I'm so sorry. That was a rabbit hole of suck. Were you really at the airport?" The entire day had been horrible except for the times he'd been alone with Mitch and he was glad to have him back.

"Yeah." He pulled back and set his suitcase upright. 

"But why?" He'd expected to hear that Mitch had a room when he called, not that he was on his way home. 

"Because there aren't any rooms in all of Indianapolis and I thought it would be easier to just go back."

"I'm so sorry about everything. Especially Jackson, he's a prick."

"Yeah" Mitch agreed, keeping the rest of his thought to himself. "I'll take the couch" he said, pulling the cushions off the sofa-bed.

"No, that's silly" Alex said, sitting down on it. "You can sleep with me, obviously."

"Obviously?" Mitch asked, his eyebrows raised. "Half an hour ago I thought I'd be sleeping on a plane so forgive me for not assuming anything right now."

"I deserve that. Sit down, please? It's been a long day. Let me explain?" He'd known he was in trouble but until he saw how dark and sad Mitch's eyes were, the enormity of it hadn't sunk in. "Sweetheart? Come here."

He took a deep breathe and did everything he could to keep the tears at bay. "Just tired. Could I grab a quick shower?"

"Of course. It was the first thing I did after the team meeting too. Airplanes and airports make me feel slimy. I'll wait for you." He watched Mitch turn and grab his suitcase, wheeling the entire thing into the bathroom with him. A few minutes later he heard the water come on and then shortly after that, Mitch's voice filtered through and he sat back, enjoying the impromptu concert.

Mitch sang to distract himself from saying all of the things that were going through his head. Things like 'You should have called me first thing' and 'Did you ever consider that they left you for other people because you're a bastard?' but soon his anger dissipated and he was left with simply feeling cheated. He quickly dressed, not bothering to make himself look presentable because the mirror was so fogged up that even wiping it down with a towel left it too murky to see through.

"Honey?" he asked when a fresher but no less tense Mitch reappeared.

"Could you not call me that? Please? Just not tonight, I need some time."

"Why?"

"You do NOT want to start this conversation Alex. I'm just going to go to bed if that's alright. Are you sure you're okay with sharing? I don't mind sleeping over here, you need your rest."

"I'm sure. More than sure." 

He stopped in his tracks, staring at the bed. "Actually, I don't even know what I'm doing here. I should probably go. I don't know why I thought I could do this. I thought it would get better but it's not and I don't want to be a distraction."

"No Mitch, don't leave, please? It's late and I want you here. Talk to me, it looks like there's a lot you need to say."

"You're competing tomorrow."

"Not until four. I have time. I ranked high enough that I get to sleep in."

"I'm supposed to be supporting you, not making things harder. I'm just having a hard time swallowing these feelings. I'll get over myself, I'm sure."

Alex stood and took Mitch's hands in his. "I don't want you to get over yourself. I hurt you, and I'm sorry. I can't tell you how sorry I am about Jackson."

"I couldn't give two fucks about what he said, and trust me, I have a LOT to give. You just... I don't have words." He fiddled with a zipper on his suitcase, then adjusted the hem of his shirt.

"Start with why I can't call you 'honey'."

"Because I won't be some secret you keep behind closed doors! You have no right to treat me like something you stepped in and then expect me to be fine two hours later. If I'm not your 'honey' out there, I'm not in here either."

"Mitch, it's not that simple."

"No, it's not and I never said it was simple. It's just a fact. Mommy doesn't play this game."

"There's no reason for me to cause all that trouble and anguish in my life. Half the guys on the team are NOT okay with it, and I have to shower and travel and sometimes sleep with these guys. Why the hell would I put myself through that? They're not worth it."

"But I am. I'm the reason!"

"Yes you are. You are Mitch, of course. I didn't mean it that way. But what exactly am I supposed to tell them? Tell them I'm gay? Well, I guess it's half right and it would have to be close enough, but it's still not true. If they're going to have a bunch of wrong assumptions about me, why not let them think what's easiest? I've just never felt the need to rock the boat just so they can think a whole different set of wrong things about me." He looked at Mitch who seemed very small curled up in the big bed. "It doesn't mean I don't care about you. Is that what you think?"

"Right. Wouldn't want them to think that you're like me. Who would want to be associated with fags? Right? Heaven forbid you let one of 'them' into your room which is why you didn't you give me your key so I could wait here instead of the lobby and the airport. How can you say you care at all when you're ashamed of me?" he asked softly.

"No Mitch, no. I am SO not ashamed. I wouldn't have invited you if I was. And why would I be? You're amazing honey, and I... god it seemed that way though didn't it? I should have, you're right. I just sort of panicked I guess, I let Jackson get to me. You always handle yourself so well, I didn't think."

"What they thought of you was more important than my feelings or comfort, Alex. That's not okay."

"You're right." He sat, then stretched across the bed so he could rest his hand on Mitch's shoulder.


	27. The Backrub

Mitch wanted to shrug his shoulder and pull away from Alex but he couldn't bear to. The truth was, he wanted comforted. He wanted Alex to wave a magic wand and somehow say the perfect words that would ease the sting. 

"I didn't realize that's what I was doing but you're right, I was a complete ass. I'm sorry Mitch. You matter a LOT more to me than any of them do and I never meant to make you feel otherwise. It won't happen again."

"Yes, yes it will. I hate to say it, because I really do appreciate your apology, but as long as you're in the closet with them, you can't really defend me. I mean, you could do a HELL of a lot better job than you did earlier but it's not going to work. You're going to try to smooth things over and that's not good enough. I'm not forcing you out, just being realistic." He pulled the extra pillow closer when he felt Alex pull away.

"I'm just going to get undressed, I'll be right back." He was in uncharted territory and had no idea how to proceed. He was used to dealing with certain problems in his relationships, and this sort of mess was completely new. Usually he was the one being shoved in a corner and hidden from view, the dirty secret. He knew how it felt, to come last, and he didn't want Mitch to feel that way. Once he'd stripped down to his boxer briefs he wandered into the bathroom to brush his teeth. Did he care enough about Mitch to come out to his team? Yes, he did. The problem was that in a day or a week or a month, Mitch would be gone and he would still be dealing with the repercussions. He didn't delude himself that it was a long-term relationship. There just wasn't any such thing, not for him.

Alex dimmed the lights and made his way over to bed, sliding beneath the covers. He knew that he was entering dangerous territory with the question on the tip of his tongue, but maybe it was for the best. Granted, the timing was bad but if they were over, he wanted to know. He couldn't put his heart on the line for a lost cause. He prepared himself for Mitch's response, knowing that he was vulnerable and expecting the worst. "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

There were a hundred things he could ask for, and some he might even get. He knew that, heard the unspoken offer in Alex's voice. For a moment he was thrilled but it quickly turned to sadness, and then bordered on anger. "Like what?" he asked sternly.

"I don't know Mitch, whatever you need. You can ask."

He flipped over, coming face to face with Alex. "I don't know what I need. I know that I don't need anything like *that* though, okay?"

"But I w---"

"You shouldn't offer, Alex. You don't want it and therefore neither do I. I'm sort of appalled at the question. You know what I could use? A backrub." He maneuvered onto his stomach and turned his head to the side. "I'm at your mercy. Just don't hurt those arms of yours, you need them tomorrow."

"A back rub?" he stuttered.

"Yeah. Pampering never hurts, especially when you're sad. Right? Maybe it'll help me sleep. I'm NOT saying you're forgiven though, are we clear?"

"Crystal." Alex sat, still trying to wrap his head around Mitch's complete refusal.

"And if I took all of that the wrong way, and you weren't offering, well, sorry. We're not exactly on the same page tonight. Either way, you should rub my back." He wiggled his shoulders in invitation and sighed when Alex's strong fingers started kneading them. His thumbs were making circles on his shoulder blades and Mitch decided that those thumbs were his favorite part of Alex's body. Okay, the abs were way up there, so maybe second favorite.

Alex tried to shut his brain down and instead focused on Mitch's back. He worked his hands down along either edge of his spine, smiling as Mitch moaned.

"Not that you care, but I'm not sleeping with Scott anymore."

"That was random. And yeah, I sort of do care."

"Well, either way, I'm not. And I wasn't really planning on telling you, well, no, I WAS going to but after tonight I didn't feel like throwing you a bone and putting myself out there but those hands are my kryptonite."

"Can I ask why? Are you seeing someone else?"

Mitch pushed up on his elbows, startling Alex. "Are you serious? No." He lay back down before he said anymore, refusing to fluff Alex's ego any more than he already was.

"Sorry, I just... I just asked."

"It's fine" Mitch muttered as the breath was pushed out of his lungs as his back cracked twice. "Oh god." It took him a moment to gather his composure but when he did he was surprised at the words that slipped out of his mouth. "Are you?"

"Seeing someone else? " He almost laughed at the absurdity of it. "No, no Mitch. Just you."

"I just asked" he joked.

"I don't want anyone else."

"Good to know. Ooooh, there, yes that..... spot."

"Someone walking by would think something else was going on in here."

"Is that a problem? Really? You can stop now, it feels better."

"No Mitch I was just making a joke. I don't really give a fuck what those guys think."

"How silly of me."


	28. The Waffling

Mitch vaguely heard the alarm but it barely roused him. He'd been up for hours during the night texting Scott and searching Tumblr, trying to get his head to calm down enough for sleep. When Alex pressed a kiss to his cheek and whispered that he would be back, that was good enough for him and he fell back asleep.

Alex cast one more longing glance towards the bed. He absolutely did NOT want to be awake. Even worse was that he was forced to get up because he had to take a drug test. His coach had given him the good news last night; it was just his luck that he'd get randomly picked for testing when he stayed up half the night and didn't have to swim until late in the afternoon.

He'd given his samples and had been told to eat, as if he needed reminding. He was already on the first floor so instead of waking up Mitch, who had been out cold, he made two to-go plates at the breakfast buffet and grabbed two cups of coffee. It felt nice to be able to do something nice for him, even if it was a small thing.

He balanced the plates on top of each other and one cup ended up pressed between his hip and the door but he managed to put the key card in and get the door open. "Hey" he said, glad but surprised to see Mitch awake and dressed. "You're up."

"Morning."

"I brought us breakfast." He didn't know exactly what to expect but the look of revulsion on Mitch's face wasn't it. It was just a flash though and was soon gone, but he knew he hadn't imagined it. "I just..."

"I get it. It's fine." Mitch took the cup of coffee and sat his plate down on the table, untouched. "Thanks."

"I had to donate some body fluids for a drug test and thought you might be hungry."

"I am, thanks. The coffee is appreciated."

"Did I do something? Wrong I mean? Or are you still mad from last night?"

"It's fine. So when are you heading out to race?"

"I want to cheer for Williams at 12:45 and then I have to report by 3. I'm going to just stay and watch whatever else is going on in between, no point in coming back here. So we have a little time to kill before we go."

"We?" Mitch asked.

"Well yeah, if you want. I mean you don't have to go with me to see Williams, I just thought you might want to check it out and get the lay of the land. You seemed to hit it off with Rebecca last night and she'll be watching Mac, so maybe you two can sit together during mine?"

"If you're sure."

"Sure about what Mitch? I'm so confused." He put his mostly eaten plate next to Mitch's untouched one and sat down next to him on the bed.

"I just get it if you don't want to be seen with me. I can stay here and veg."

"What? What are you talking about? Of course I want you to come. I'm not like locking you in here. Why would you think that I didn't want you to come with me?"

"Other than the fiasco last night? This. Breakfast" he answered, waving his arm towards the table.

"You lost me."

Mitch just sighed. 

"We can, oh god, we can go to breakfast if you want! Honey, I was just trying to... to be nice! Let's go." He stood and held his hand out.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking you to breakfast."

"I'm fine. I have breakfast."

"You are NOT fine. You haven't touched yours and I'm still hungry. Please?"

Mitch was torn. He didn't want to cause any trouble for Alex even though he obviously had. At this point he wasn't sure which was the easier route to take. "Only if you want to. I'm good either way."

"Come on then, let's see if there's any food left."

"You make a valid point. Just how many swimmers are in this building and did anyone warn the chefs?"

"Mitch, the entire city could be a desolate wasteland by the time it's all over. Maybe we should stockpile granola bars and chocolate." He led Mitch towards the restaurant and handed him a plate at the start of the buffet. "Oooh, there's some new stuff."

He had to admit that it actually looked and smelled pretty good. The restaurant was packed and noisy, and when he finished filling his plate and looked around, he realized that almost all the tables were filled. "Maybe we should take it back upstairs? Or I can?"

"No, no, let me look." His eyes fell on four empty seats but sitting next to Jackson and O'Brien was NOT the way to have a nice breakfast. He scanned again, his shoulders sagging when he realized that they had the only empty spots. "No one wants to sit with them" he whispered to Mitch. "It's up to you."

"I don't care, but you don't need to deal with that today. It's probably bad enough that he saw us. I hope it doesn't cause you any trouble."

"Well, I guess you may be right. If there's going to be trouble though, we may as well get it out of the way. And besides, it'll make it all the more interesting this afternoon" he said, heading towards their table.

"Is he on your relay?" Mitch was more concerned than ever that his being there was going to negatively impact his swim.

"Nope, competitor in the butterfly. I'm going to kick his ass." He sat his tray down loudly on the table. "Hi guys, mind if we sit?"

"Hey Kirk" Jackson answered, eyeing Alex and Mitch up. "We're almost done."


	29. The Suite

"Don't rush off on my account" Mitch said, sliding into the end seat. He left space between himself and the guy sitting across from Jackson, then focused on sweetening his coffee.

"I'll stay as long as I can keep my appetite" Jackson joked. "Must be how Kirk stays so damn skinny."

"Feel free to leave now Jackson, I don't want to listen to your stupidity" Alex said, staring him down.

"Lighten up, I'm just fooling. I got no problem with him as long as he stays away from me. Right? Keep him out of the dressing room Kirk."

"As if I'm the one who cavorts with half-naked dripping-wet men every day" Mitch muttered under his breath. He looked over out of the corner of his eye but was pretty sure no one had heard him except maybe Alex.

"Are you done yet Jackson? You're an asshole and owe him an apology."

"Nah, Kirk, he is! Get it? He's an ass! How the hell did you meet him, anyway? Seems kinda shady for you to be friends, you know what I'm saying?"

"That's enough!" Alex's fist crashed against the table, rattling the plates and silverware. "He's not my friend, Jackson, he's my boyfriend. If that's a problem for you, we can handle it after the meet. Otherwise, you need to keep your damn mouth shut."

"What the fuck? Kirk?" Jackson stood, O'Brien following suit. "You're a fag? Shit."

"Get over yourself Jackson, you are NOT cute." Alex turned back to his plate and ignored their stares for a few minutes. After they walked away, his fork dropped onto his plate. "God that was scary."

Mitch reached over and took his shaking hand. "Alex, you didn't have to say all that. I know I complained last night but I never meant to force you out."

"It's alright, you were right about a lot of things last night and I thought about it this morning while I was trying to not think about needles or the stopwatch. Even if I don't really identify as gay, at least to myself, the man I'm with does and that's important."

Mitch was more than finished and was relieved when Alex stood and they made their way back to the elevator. As they walked past the desk, the receptionist called out to him. "Sir?"

"Me?"

"Yes. Mr. Grassi?" Mitch made his way over to the desk. "I'm the assistant manager and was told of your troubles last night. I apologize profusely. We have a suite for you today, and have upgraded you to our Presidential suite. Here are your new keys. If I can be of any assistance, please don't hesitate to ask."

"Great, thanks." He gratefully took them and slipped them into his pocket. "Fancy" he mumbled, following Alex onto the elevator. "Looks like I'm moving on up. I'll get out of your hair in a minute."

"You're not in my hair Mitch."

"Well then you should come check it out. The Presidential suite is bound to be pretty nice. I get first dibs on bedrooms though."

"Deal."

"Hey Alex? Your identity is important too, you shouldn't have to squeeze yourself into the 'gay' box just because it's handy."

"That was out of nowhere. It's fine Mitch, really. There's a little more headroom in here than in the straight box, and the wallpaper is nicer. Plus, you're here and that's a huge bonus." He watched Mitch's jaw muscles twitch, then finally let him off the hook. "It was definitely a double entendre, feel free to laugh."

It took Mitch a few minutes to compose himself since he started laughing again the first time he said 'head' but eventually he could speak. "Can I ask you something?"

Alex opened the door for him and followed Mitch inside their room. "Yep, always."

"Why?" He busied himself packing the few toiletries he'd used and was soon zipping his suitcase. "You were so unsure of us last night and now you're screaming it to the world and I don't want you to do it out of guilt, I guess or do things you'll regret tomorrow."

They were back on the elevator again before he answered. "It's not guilt. You turned me down last night Mitch."

He thought for a second before it came to him. "Oh, your 'offer'?" he asked, making quote signs in the air.

"Yeah."

"Of course I did."

"No, not of course. Its surprised me and amazed me and made me rethink a lot of things. Made me let go of a few things I was holding onto." He stepped onto the 9th floor and held Mitch's suitcase while he opened the door. "Holy shit."

"Now THIS is nice." Mitch put his arms out and spun in a circle in the huge living area.

"Mitch?"

"Yep?" he answered, his mouth dropping open at the sight of the master bedroom. "Look at this TUB! I want in it. I don't even care who was in it before me."

"That's big enough for me" he answered, stepping up behind Mitch. "It's bigger than some hot tubs I've been in."

"Decadent."

"Mitch?"

He turned and let Alex pull him into his arms. "Yes babe?"

"I didn't come out because of guilt, I did it because it was worth it. I did it because I love you."


	30. The Meet

Mitch was blown away by the size of the venue and all the activity going on. He'd expected a busier version of practice but not this. There were signs and groups moving about and announcements over the loudspeaker. When he heard them call out the 100 meter butterfly, he watched as Alex came out third and headed over to his block to stretch. The amount of screaming and whistling was concert worthy. As always, he was amazed by the size of the pool. It seemed even longer today though, with all the people lining the side.

Alex stood below him in lane 3, a light team jacket covering his chest, his IPod tucked in the pocket and playing loudly enough to block out most of the noise. He shook out his arms and bounced on the balls of his feet, trying to dispel a bit of stress. He tucked the headphones back inside, stripped out of his jacket, and pulled his goggles down over his eyes. Once he was ready, he lifted his right foot and rested it on the block to wait. At the signal he stood and got his foot placement. He took a few deep breaths to pump some extra oxygen into his blood and waited for the gun.

Mitch couldn't sit. He hovered up, one hand behind him on the seat for balance. And then they were off. Alex sprung off the board and disappeared below the water, emerging almost a quarter of the way down the pool. Those long arms sprung into action, propelling him forward. He knew that Alex needed a strong turn and that the timing of it, if it was perfect, would hopefully push him into second place. He was expecting to place third though, since some of the beefier swimmers did better on short distances.

Alex had no idea where he was, but it felt good. He tried to ignore the screaming and just focus on his strokes. He pressed his hand against the wall and then ducked and spun. The turn had been good, really good. The question was if whether or not everyone else's were too. No time to think, he blocked it all out until his hand touched the wall and he stood up. He wasn't last, so there was that. In a competition this size, in the 100, it wasn't a given. He waited anxiously for the scoreboard to light up. 52.03, third but only by .02 seconds. He threw his hand in the air and scanned the crowd, his eyes landing on Mitch's smile. Seeing Jackson's name seventh shouldn't have pleased him, but it did.

When it was time for the 200 later that evening, Mitch knew a bit better what to expect. This time he focused on the other swimmers, eyeing up Alex's competition. Alex pushed off the block fast and long, propelling himself into the water like a bullet. After the first turn, he'd pulled up almost an entire body length ahead of most of the other swimmers. There were two others keeping pace mostly, but before long one of them fell back as well. It almost seemed too easy, but during the third leg two more pulled up, or Alex and the leader slowed down, it was hard to tell. The final turn, and Mitch was a bundle of nerves.

Alex spotted Clark pull ahead of him, the story of his life. He couldn't catch him, but he might be able to pull off a second place win if he didn't let it get into his head. His coaches words rang through his head 'Don't give away second.' His lungs burned from staying under a bit longer on the turn, but he wanted every hundredth he could get. He finished and stood gasping, pulling off his goggles and cap. 1:55.18. He'd take that, yes he would indeed. Second worked for him just fine.

*** *** ***

"You did so well Ace!" 

"You're killing me smalls, you've told me that about 14 times." Alex brushed it off but smiled, letting Mitch know he appreciated it. "Dinner was amazing."

"It was. I'm tired though, why am I so tired? It's not like I competed or did much of anything today."

"Neither of us slept great last night. But I didn't really swim all that much either, it's just the nerves that wear me down I think."

"Makes sense. So you have the relay tomorrow right? What time?"

"1:30"

Mitch gave him a hug and then headed towards his bedroom. "You should get some sleep."

"I will. Not going yet though, so you don't have to leave on my account. Actually, I was wondering if I could try out that tub."

"You want to be in MORE water?" Mitch asked, his eyebrows raised. "You're going to turn into a fish."

"It's your bathroom, so feel free to say no. But I must admit, the jets sound good and I don't usually fit very well. Besides, my trainer would tell you that I should stay limber for tomorrow."

"Well who am I to stand in the way of your trainer? Seriously though, I don't mind, help yourself. I wasn't going to bed yet either, thought I'd have a glass of wine and watch TV."

"Damn that sounds good too, now I don't know what to do. I think I'll go with wine and tub, how's that for living the high life?" He walked over to see what had been left in their ice bucket. "Champagne, nice."

"Ooh, open it? I hate the noise."

"But you love the bubbles" Alex teased, easing open the bottle. It foamed and frothed as he poured it into two glasses, then handed one to Mitch. "I'm going in. You can join me if you can't find anything fun on TV."


	31. The Bath

He finally managed to close his mouth once the bathroom door had shut. Did Alex just invite him in? Like IN the bathtub? WITH him? No, maybe not. Or it was another test? It didn't seem like one though. He went back into the living room and sat on the couch with his glass of champagne, trying to figure out what was going on.

After he'd gotten a refill he decided that he wouldn't go in the tub, but he was going to drive himself crazy if he didn't ask for some clarification. He needed to know if Alex had just misspoken, or if he had misunderstood, or if since he'd passed last nights test, Alex was upping the ante. Besides, if he needed a refill, maybe Alex did too? It was a good enough excuse. He knocked lightly on the door, then louder when no answer came. "Ace?"

"Hey, come in." He pulled himself a bit out of the water but even now, Alex was in heaven. His arms were dangling over the edge of the tub, laying on the surround. Everything from his armpits down was soaking and being beaten on by approximately 1 million jets. "Hi" he said when Mitch tentatively stuck his head in.

"I was wondering if you wanted a refill."

"That was quick. Sure, why not?" He lifted his glass, chuckling as Mitch tried to fill it without actually looking in his direction. "You're funny."

"I just didn't, um, can I ask you a question?"

"Always. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just wasn't sure what to make of your invitation. Did you mean it? Or what?"

"I meant it. You're welcome to join me."

"Are you naked?" he asked shyly.

Alex laughed. "Yeah, I am. I can put on trunks if you really want."

"No, I don't care, I was just... help me understand."

"I trust you. Okay? And I also want to be intimate with you. Not sexually, obviously, but there is a difference. I like being near you and want to... I don't know... I'm all in, okay? Walls down."

"Wow. So you're okay with me getting in? Seeing you? I mean just being naked with you seems so weird. How is there NOT a rule about this?"

"I just threw about half the rules out the window. But you don't have to Mitch. Whatever you're comfortable with is fine. You know your own limits and I'll respect them. I'm sure as hell not going to push."

It was Mitch's turn to chuckle. "Yeah, that would be quite the plot twist. Um, look at me?"

Alex did, then tilted his head to the side, questioning. "I'm not playing a game with you Mitch."

How could anyone turn down an invitation to get in a jetted tub with Alex? "Okay fine, then will you close your eyes? Mommy is shy."

"You're funny. From what I've seen you're gorgeous but yes" he said, closing his eyes "I'm happy to close them."

Mitch stripped quickly and sunk into the other end of the tub, resting his legs on top of Alex's. "Okay, you can open. Is this okay? How I'm sitting?"

"Fine with me."

"Damn the water is hot."

"Yeah, you'll get used to it. Put in some cold if it's too much though." He grabbed Mitch's foot which was tucked between his waist and the edge, and propped it up against his chest so that he could rub it.

"Oh god that's...." Mitch's head dropped back against the tub and he grabbed at a towel to put under his head. "Can you give me one of yours?" He twisted a bit to the side and ran his thumb along Alex's arch. They sat silently for awhile, relaxing and letting the stress of the past few days fall away. "If we fall asleep and drown in this tub, it will have been worth it."

"Probably. We won't be complaining anyway, being dead and all."

"Smart ass. I'd come back and haunt people though, 1000 percent. Do you believe in heaven and hell, that whole thing?"

"No. I think that when you're gone, you're gone. You?"

"I'm not sure Ace. I sort of want to, and I was certainly raised to, but it almost seems too simple. I believe in energy though, and souls of some kind. It's all connected somehow, even if we can't quite see it." He cradled Alex's foot in one hand and took a sip of his champagne. "I didn't think we'd ever do stuff like this."

"I haven't done it in a long time. This is really, um, nice." He bit his lip nervously. "It's just that most people can't take very much temptation. That's not a very polite way of saying it, but you know what I mean. The rules are for the people I'm dating as much as for me, I don't want to tease them. But I hope, and I really do think, that you can maybe make some of your own. I'm gonna trust you to handle you. Just tell me if I do anything that makes things hard for you. I mean, shit, not... god that was the wrong word!"

"It was" he said between laughs "the exact right word." He took another sip of champagne and sat up a bit straighter it the tub, pulling his foot away. "Real talk though, I'll do my best. I mean, I can't always control getting hard, especially around you Mr. Hot, but I won't act on it. I'm hard now and I'm not jumping you or anything. I shouldn't have told you that though, probably" he said sadly. "You're not going to take another bath with me, are you? I should get out."

"It's not like I don't get hard Mitch. I have an idea though, why don't I get out? You can take care of things here or in your room, whatever. I'll close your bedroom door behind me. Have fun, okay?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to ruin--"

"You didn't. Mitch? It's really fine. I'll prove it to you. You can watch me get out of the tub, maybe it'll help you finish." He stood up, water running down his lean body. Once he was out, he leaned over and kissed Mitch, then cupped his cheek. "If you think we're leaving Indy without getting in this tub at least once more, you're crazy." He kissed him one more time, then wrapped a towel around his waist as he headed towards the door. "See you in the morning honey."

Mitch was out of the tub in a flash and between his sheets, visions of Alex swirling through his head.


	32. The Dance

Mitch was mostly awake when he heard the soft knock at his bedroom door. "Come in." He quickly made sure he was covered and smiled when a shaggy-haired Alex peeked in.

"Morning."

"Hey babe."

"I was thinking about breakfast and wondering if you were hungry." He gave up trying to tame his hair and sat on the edge of the bed. "Want to go down? Soon?"

"Somebody's hungry, surprise surprise. We can order in if you want, I think there are menus out in the living room."

"Thank God, they have amazing stuff in here that is definitely not at the buffet." Alex whipped the menu out from his pocket and lay back against the headboard so Mitch could see it. "What looks good?"

"You're a dork, you could have just said so. Oooh, the eggs benedict, coffee, and some fruit for me please. I need a shower but I don't want to get up."

"If you pass the phone, I'll order and we can be lazy and not move until it arrives. Deal?"

"Ace, you are my favorite person in the world right now." He gladly grabbed the phone from the night stand and handed it over. "Ask for a whole carafe of coffee." He closed his eyes and enjoyed the extra few minutes of relaxation, glad that Alex had come in to visit. He'd wondered as he drifted off to sleep if this morning would be awkward or if he would pull away and have regrets but everything seemed fine and it was a huge relief. When Alex lay beside him he lifted his head and lay it instead on his chest. "Nice way to wake up."

"Yes it is. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, I was tired. You?"

"Like a rock. The beds are amazing. Should I ask about last night Mitch? Or can I just say that I'm good if you are?"

"I was actually thinking that I was glad you came in because I was worried it might be awkward or weird. But I'm totally good if you are. The bath was amazing, really. I enjoyed it."

"Me too. Okay, good." He heard his phone and grumbled. "I don't wanna get up." He did though, he knew it could be his coach or something else swimming related. "I'm coming, I'm coming" he mumbled as he headed into the living room. When he returned he was pushing the cart which had been delivered while he talked to Williams. "Room service ma'am" he announced.

"Smells delish." Mitch crawled across the bed to where Alex had parked the cart. "Anything important?"

"The gang is getting together tonight to celebrate the guy's team finishing up and placing first in the relay, plus the women's team starting tomorrow. Granted, none of the girls will be able to get hammered but it's nice of Williams to attempt to include them. You up for hanging out with my homophobic teammates?" He poured Mitch and himself both a cup of coffee.

"So winning is a sure thing today?"

"Never. Chances are good but I don't like to count my chickens or whatever. Nothing is certain when you're dealing with something that's measured in hundredths."

"I'll cross my fingers then. Babe? I appreciate the invite, but I think it's probably best for you if I pass on tonight. I'm going to lounge around and watch movies. Maybe I'll dance around in my underwear and order another bottle of that champagne." He saw the indecision on Alex's face. "Really, it's fine, I promise. You go and celebrate and I'll be here when you get back. Besides, we have tomorrow."

"We'll play it by ear and see how you're feeling later, okay?" he said between bites of waffle. "Damn this is good. Buckwheat or multigrain or something but it's my new favorite, whatever it is."

*** *** ***

He wasn't sure how he'd gotten talked into this. Maybe it had been Alex's excitement when they had won the relay and Mitch's absolute refusal to do anything to damper his joy. Or maybe it was a small part of him that enjoyed knowing Alex wanted him there, with him. Whatever the reason, it didn't quite squash the nervousness as they headed into the bar. A straight bar. In a city he didn't know. Whether this called for staying completely sober or getting smashed he wasn't sure yet.

"It's fine honey, you look so nervous." Alex wasn't used to Mitch being flustered and part of him thought it was really damn cute. The other 95% was sorry he was uncomfortable. "Want a drink?"

"Yeah, I think I need one, or six. Thanks." He followed Alex to the bar, not wanting to leave his side until he got his bearings and figured out how bad it was going to be. There was soon a swarm around Alex, everyone congratulating him on his leg of the relay. It had been amazing to watch since he was a full body length behind when his teammate got to the wall but ended up passing the leader and putting their team back in first place. Mitch stayed quiet, sipping his drink and smiling. 

Alex hated being the center of attention and was uncomfortable being praised for something three other guys had done right along with him. It's not as if he'd won it himself. As soon as the music changed he saw the chance to give both he and Mitch a break. "Want to dance?" he asked, leaning down and whispering in his ear.

"Here? Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Come on." He sat his bottle on the table and took Mitch's as well and put it down, then led them onto the small dance floor. He figured that Jackson had probably spread the word by now and if that hadn't done it, well, this would. Out was out, right? If he was going to take the flack, he was going to enjoy the perks. He pulled Mitch into his arms and placed his hand in the small of Mitch's back, holding him close.

It took a few minutes for him to relax but once he was sure no one was going to throw drinks on them or worse, he rested his cheek against Alex's chest and closed his eyes. He'd danced with many boys over the years, but somehow dancing to a cheesy country song in a small bar in Indianapolis blew the rest out of the water. The world faded away as he followed Alex's footsteps, swaying in time to the music he hoped would never end.


	33. The Need

*** SMUT like real smut. R-level smut is coming. *ahem*

 

Mitch was super happy to spot Esther when he got off his plane. "Hey girl."

"Welcome Mitch. The guys are going to grab your bags and meet us back at the hotel, we can head out." She took his small carry-on and wheeled it behind her.

"I feel like royall... royatally. You know!" he slurred.

"Shhh, yes, royalty. Come on, let's get you in a cab." Esther took his arm and helped guide him outside. "Are you okay babe?" she asked once they were settled inside and en route.

"Yepppp. How are you?"

"Fine, and not drunk. At least you have time to sober up before tomorrow morning. We need you bright-eyed and bushy tailed, okay?"

"Yeah, course. I'm good."

"Sure you are. Hey, how did Alex do?"

"Great, made top tier, whatever that means." He scooted over and rested his head on Esther's shoulder. "He almost won so that's good."

"So you two had fun? You're good? Are you drinking to celebrate or just sad to leave him or?"

"Eh, mommy wanted to unwind. I don't know. I'm a million things and that song, 31 flavors? I am 31 flavors and then some. Yeah. Complisated. Complicate-ed."

"That you are Mitch. Okay, out we go. I'll take you to your room." She loved Mitch sober and he was honestly a mostly fun drunk, but it had been a long day and she was more than happy to hand him over to a wide-eyed Scott.

"You two stop somewhere on the way?" he joked, hugging Mitch and ushering him inside.

"Nope, he was that way on arrival. Now he's all yours. 10 am tomorrow boys" she said, waving good-bye and turning to head down the hallway.

Scott closed the door and turned to find Mitch spread eagle on the bed, phone in hand. "Sending Alex an 'arrived safe' message?"

"Yeah, he asked me to. Gonna say goodnight."

"Alright. I'm going to take a quick shower while you do that, I'll be back. There's water in the minibar. Tell him 'Hi' from me."

Mitchado About0: Here safe. Scott say hi.

Alexo Speedo: Glad. Hi back at him. Miss you already.

Mitchado About0: Same. Was worried you wouldn't. Bad if its easier without me.

Alexo Speedo: Don't think that. Miss you tons and can't wait to see you next week.

Mitchado About0: Okay. Talk toyou soon.

"Mitch!" Scott called as he opened the bathroom door a hair. "Close your eyes, I'm nekkid."

Mitch put his phone down and turned his head towards the bathroom. "What if I don't?"

"Mary, you're going to get an eyeful." Hey, it was Mitch's problem. He'd warned him, what else could he do? He walked out with just a small towel draped across him with one hand, then reached into his suitcase.

"Nice ass."

Scott threw a hand behind him but that didn't give him any free hands to actually find underwear, so he gave up. "Enjoy it while you can Miss Practically-Married."

"Am not. If I was I wouldn't be so hard up. Thought about going through security a few times just to get patted down. Was hoping one would get rough with me."

Scott spun around, laughing, then stepped into his shorts. "Mitch!" He took a few steps towards the bed, threatening to tickle him. "You're going to get it."

"No! No!" He put his hands up to try to fend off the attack but it was no use.

"Want touched? I'll touch you, you little minx." He made contact with Mitch's side a split second before pain exploded in his jaw.

"I'm so sorry! But it WAS your fault!" Mitch was up on his knees examining the spot where his elbow had struck. "I think you'll live." He kissed it gently, then lowered his head and kissed Scott's neck.

"Mitch?"

"Shhhh." He swung one knee around, straddling Scott's hips. His lips returned to Scott's bare shoulder while one hand ran through his damp hair.

"Mitch, you don't...."

"Shhhh. I need this. I need you to let me."

"But you said--" His words were cut off as Mitch claimed his mouth, his tongue begging for entrance and silencing him. He knew he should stop him but he'd missed this, those hands and lips that knew him so well. He decided that a make-out session wouldn't hurt anything or anyone and if Mitch wanted him this badly, well, who was he to argue?

He kneaded Scott's broad shoulders in his hands, enjoying the muscles rippling beneath his fingers. He nipped at the long, taut muscles while lowering himself down and wrapping his legs around Scott's waist until he could feel his cock pressing through his thin jeans. "Need you" he said, then ran his hands down Scott's chest, dragging his nails just hard enough to make him shudder.

"Call this off Mitch. You've got like 30 seconds. I'm being good but--"

"Don't be good, please. I need to be very, very bad."

"God damn it baby, you can't expect me to...." Every thought went out of his head when Mitch reached into his boxers and wrapped his slim fingers around Scott's cock. "What do you want Mitchy? Tell me what you need."

"I want you. Hard and rough and desperate. And then, later, I want you to worship and love me, show me how you feel. I need to be needed, wanted. I want it all. Every inch of you, over and over. Do you want me Scott? Do you want to take me?"

"God Mitch you KNOW I want you." He lifted his hips, rocking against Mitch's thighs.

"Just don't mark me" he asked, running his fingertips down his throat. "But you can do absolutely ANY-thing else you want. Anything. Everything. Tonight I'm yours. Please?"


	34. Smut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can absolutely skip this chapter, it's just 'fun'

*** Yeah. Ahem. Watch out. Feel free to skip, there's nothing but raunchy fun ahead.

 

Scott watched, holding onto Mitch's hips to help him balance as he leaned back and whipped his shirt over his head. "Look at me."

He stopped, locking eyes with the blue depths he knew so well. "Yes?"

"How drunk ARE you?"

"Not. I'm happy, relaxed, not drunk. Not very drunk. And still wearing pants. What the fuck is wrong with you? Is it me? What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing. Absolutely not one fucking thing about you isn't perfect."

"So? Take me? Want me to suck you off in the shower later? I know how much you like that. I'll do anything if you just turn me over and fuck me senseless. Don't make me beg, I can't. Not now."

"Stand up and take those off, then hands on the wall above my head." He arranged the pillows behind his back as Mitch balanced on the bed. Scott figured he was sober enough if he could do that without falling over. He beckoned him over with his finger. "Wait, go get supplies first. Cloud bag, side pocket." He smiled and watched Mitch carefully step down, then lean over his bag. "Nice ass."

"Just wait boy, you think it LOOKS good" he joked.

"Oh I know how good it feels. I haven't forgotten. Get over here and let me at you."

"Yes Sir" he teased, standing over Scott with his legs slightly spread. He watched as that broad tongue snuck out and lapped the length of his cock, making him twitch. "Yes." He closed his eyes when he heard the lid snap open, grateful that Scott wasn't wasting any more time. His cock finally slid into that warm mouth as Scott's slick finger made it's way inside and soon he was bucking back and forth, his cock sliding in and out of Scott's mouth as two fingers slid into his ass. 

He heard Mitch whine softly as he pulled his fingers out and released his cock. "How do you want it?"

Mitch looked quickly around the room and settled on staying on the bed. He knelt down on all fours and backed up to the edge. He knew that he was going to be in for it in this position and he couldn't wait.

"You were serious, weren't you sweetheart? You know I'm going to plow you hard like this." Scott came to stand behind Mitch and slowly lubed his cock.

"I know. Make me scream."

"You should be asking me to be gentle, it's been awhile. I'm not sure you can handle me."

"We can do gentle later. Now I need it all. I can take it. Make me." Scott's cock settled along the crack of his ass and slid up and down. He was doing it on purpose, he knew it drove him absolutely crazy. "Please."

"Want to feel this tomorrow?" he asked, mustering up every ounce of restraint he had.

"For days, Scottland. Please." He pushed back, rocking against him in encouragement.

He swore to himself that he'd go in gentle and give him time to adjust before he took him long. Halfway in, when Mitch was still gripping the sheets and fighting for breath, he ran out of patience. "Hold on Mitchy" he said, pulling out a bit before pushing in balls deep. When Mitch screamed, his head tossing back and forth he paused and forced himself to take a quick breath before putting a hand in the small of Mitch's back to hold him in place. "You wanted me to take you? Like this?" he asked, rocking a few times before pulling back and fucking him deep again.

"God... yes.... can't..... yes...." He'd known it was coming but still couldn't handle it. He pulled forward, trying to slow the assault as Scott's cock stretched him open, even though he wanted it more than anything

"You begged for this and now you're going to take it. You're going to take all of me, for as long as I can last.... I'm going to wreck that gorgeous ass of yours." He let out a low growl before plunging back in yet again, fucking him hard and deep. "Tell me, tell me you want it."

"More" me managed to yell into the sheets even as his brain screamed 'no'. "Fuck me. Don't stop, please." He wasn't sure where he was or even who he was. All that mattered was the cock forcing him open and owning him. One hand still gripped the pillow he was leaning on but his other fought its way back and finally closed around his cock. He didn't need to move, the force of Scott's thrusts was pushing his entire body back and forth and he slid through his hand. He tried to focus his mind on his balls, coaxing the fire that was burning hot, building quickly.

"Damn it Mitch, fuck you're........ yes!" His hips were a blur, pounding into Mitch frantically. He reached down and pushed Mitch's hand out of the way, grabbing onto his cock like a lifeline. "You're going to come for me, aren't you?"

Mitch squeezed his balls gently and tried to nod, unable to form words.

"You're going to come so hard I'll feel it, won't you? Gonna squeeze me so tight, make me come too.... You need more though, don't you? You want this to last.... Don't worry baby, I'll fuck you all damn night long... Gonna take you again Michelle, over and over. You're mine."

Every word that came out of that gorgeous man's mouth went straight to his cock. The pressure was almost too much, he needed to come but was almost afraid to. Scott was so hard though, so thick. He knew he was close, that any minute he'd be even bigger, unyielding as he exploded. He was so focused on Scott's that his own explosion caught him almost by surprise. He let out a scream into the pillow, then gasped for air as wave after wave went through him. "Ace" he moaned as firm fingers dug into his hips.

Mitch was so tight he could hardly move, but he pushed in deep as Mitch's moan ripped through the air. He pulled back, trying to hold Mitch's hips in place so he could get one last thrust but he didn't need it, his balls erupted and he threw his head back, struggling to stay on his feet. He patted Mitch's ass, waiting for him to relax enough to pull out, then collapsed onto his back on the bed behind him. "Damn girl."

Mitch clawed his way forward on the bed and collapsed, rolling onto his side. "I... fuck."

Scott opened his eyes and managed to focus on a painting across the room. "Don't think I've forgotten. In a few minutes, you owe me a shower."


	35. The Shower

*** PG-13 maybe? It's not bad.

 

"Okay princess, shower time." Scott managed to sit, then pushed himself up and stood over the bed Mitch was laying on, holding out a hand. "Come on." He tried to read Mitch's face which was perfectly emotionless and making him worry.

"Too tired."

"No you're not, come on. We can't sleep like this." He reached down and turned Mitch over, then grabbed his hand and pulled. "Upsey daisy. Come on, I'll wash your back. And everything else, if you need help."

"I might." He followed along, leaning against the counter as Scott got the water going.

"You okay?"

"Oh, yeah, fine. I mean, damn boy but yeah, I think so."

Scott stepped in and held the curtain open, then closed it behind Mitch. "Come here." He pulled Mitch into his arms, smiling as Mitch's hair tickled his chest. "Much better." He freed one hand and grabbed the soap, then turned Mitch under the water.

"I can handle it sis, really."

"No, let me? Please?" He soaped up his hands and started on his shoulders, massaging them and drawing little circles on his neck with his thumbs.

Mitch dropped his head down and grabbed onto Scott with one hand for balance. "That's amazing."

"Do you know how cute your shoulders and collarbones are? Scrumptious." He travelled down his lean arms then, outlining each tattoo before massaging Mitch's palms. "I love your fingers. They're good at so many things." He adjusted the shower head, then kissed each shoulder once it was rinsed. "Lean back." He spread soap down Mitch's chest before coming back up and teasing his nipples into points. "I love you waxed and furry. Do you know why I love your chest so much?"

Mitch just looked up smiling, then shook his head 'no'.

"Because your heart is here" he answered, placing his palm flat against his pec. "Your amazing heart."

"Stop, you dork."

"No, I'm not done" he said, his re-soaped hands gliding lower. He leaned in for a kiss as he stroked Mitch's cock, running his thumb around the tip before slipping down and cupping his balls. "You know why I like this, so let's move on." He slipped down onto his knees and ran his hands up and down Mitch's legs. "So strong. You always keep up with me and look good doing it. I love that these legs keep you by my side." He stood then and pulled Mitch towards him. 

"Why are you doing this?"

Scott slid soapy hands down Mitch's back, pressing him even closer. "Because I'm worried you've forgotten how amazing you are. How beautiful."

"I'm not..."

"Not what Mitchy?" He slid his hands over each globe of Mitch's ass, then dove between.

Mitch hissed at the contact and soap. "Damn you did me good."

"Not what Mitchy?"

"Nothing. I think I owe you something now, don't I?" he asked, wrapping his fingers around Scott's half-hard cock.

"No, you don't owe me anything. Ever. Tonight's for you, whatever you need. I think you need a snuggle and a good nights sleep. Am I wrong?"

"No. I need everything and nothing. I don't know."

"I should have stopped you earlier, I'm sorry."

"NO! No girl, no. I wanted and needed that so fucking bad, do NOT feel guilty about it. I fucking begged. It was my decision Scott, mine. No regrets."

"No regrets. Good." He rested his forehead against Mitch's and looked down at himself, still wrapped in Mitch's hand.

"I love you too, you know. Your crazy ideas, your funny sense of humor, your big, dorky heart. All of you."

"And that" he teased.

"Oh this is definitely WAY up on my list."

"I heard what you said, during. When you came."

"Ace" he whispered. "I'm sorry Scottie, I didn't really have control of my brain functions."

"I know, and it's okay. I just want you to be happy. Are you? I mean with him?"

"Yeah, I really am. Some things are hard--"

"And some aren't" he teased, not surprised when Mitch smacked his arm.

"But he's trying. And I'm trying." He raised his head up and looked at Scott. "If I could just combine you two, I'd have the perfect man."

"Instead you're stuck, happy but thirsty."

"It's not even the sex, really..."

"Really? After tonight you're going to try to pull THAT line?" He stepped out of the shower and threw a tiny towel around his waist. "Come on, let's finish this in bed." He dried off as well as he could and threw the covers back, sliding in and making room for Mitch to curl up on his chest.

"I'm not saying I didn't enjoy the sex, or want it, but it's... I just felt unwanted."

"So I get that, sort of. But help me out here Mitchy. If sex isn't what makes you feel wanted, right? That's what you mean when you say it's not the sex? So why don't you feel wanted? What's missing if it's not the sex?"

"I... wow I don't know. But... you're right."

"I love hearing you say that."

"Shut up Scottland. Seriously though, it doesn't make sense, you're right."

"Say it again and I'll be putty in your hands."

"You're right" he said seductively, running his fingertips down Scott's chest. "So right."

"Okay, stop now" he chuckled, breaking into a fit of giggles. "You're such a spaz."

Mitch rolled on top of him, grinning when Scott swallowed a laugh and shut his mouth. "Maybe I need to do some more research."

"Research?" he asked tensely.

Mitch reached a hand out and grabbed the small bottle. "You promised me round two."

"You are in no shape honey, you DO have to walk and even perform tomorrow, you know."

"You're awfully full of yourself Scottie. Time for me to help you out with that. I'll be careful, mommy's in charge this time."


	36. The Video

Mitch had to admit that he wasn't quite his normal, perky self the next day. He was tired, and achy all over and more than a little sore. He didn't regret it, but getting through the day seemed a daunting task. They managed to film Superfruit though and get it uploaded after their interview and before sound check and the concert.

He texted Alex that morning and they'd planned a Skype date for that night but he sat staring at a screen for fifteen minutes before Alex finally told him that he couldn't make it. He was disappointed, but as tired as he was, he didn't mind as much as he normally would have.

By the next evening he knew something was up. He didn't expect Alex to be at his beck and call but there was definitely something going on. Alex was headed home early the next morning though, so Mitch decided to give him an extra day. Maybe once he was home things would be back to normal. And if not, he'd be home two days after that and they could hash it out face to face. He was staring at Alex's latest reply, simply 'fine' when Scott sat next to him.

"You alright?"

"I thought so. It's just Alex. I thought we were okay after the whole wet dream thing but---"

"WHAT?"

"I told you."

"YOU DID NOT tell me. Did you? Remind me" Scott asked, putting his phone down and leaning in. "You told me about the bath and about dancing. I remember because you were literally adorable about it. I think I'd remember you two getting it on."

"Maybe I didn't. It was private. And we didn't get it on, we just took care of things in the same bed and he was asleep so it doesn't count. I mean, it wasn't anything but he was upset and embarrassed. Everything seemed fine that night though but now... I don't know."

"OH you did NOT tell me that. What happened? Details and a play-by-play please."

"No, just drop it please. I just don't know what else it could be."

"Are you feeling guilty about the other night and transposing or whatever it's called? Maybe you just think he's upset?"

"Maybe I am? I guess we'll see tomorrow. I just never know what's going through his head. He's so hard to read."

"As if you don't thrive on a good mystery. Please girl. You'd be bored if you knew."

"Fine Scott, fine. But I just... I don't know."

"You two need to talk. You don't want to push and it sounds like he's a closed book about some of this, but you need to talk. Tell him how you feel Mitch, he can't fix it if he doesn't know where you're coming from. You can't complain that you can't read him when you're not talking to him either."

"I don't know what to say. I don't want to make him feel guilty."

"If he's not giving you what you need, which he's NOT" he said, holding his hands up in forgiveness, "you need to tell him. Period. End of story. And if he can't or won't, well, there you go. But if he doesn't even know what you need, how can he? I just want you happy Mitch."

"He knows, and he can't. He's just... it's just the way it is."

"But you TOLD me it wasn't sex. So what is it? Figure it out Mitch, you won't be happy until you do." He stood up, resting his hand on Mitch's shoulder. "I feel so damn mature. Wow. My mom would be proud of me. So would Nell."

"It's not that easy Scott."

"I know. But hey, either you talk to him or I will."

"NO. You stay the hell out of it Scott, that's not even funny." When he didn't get a response he yanked on Scott's arm. "Do you hear me?" he hissed.

"I heard you. Gotta call Jesse, I'll catch you in a few."

"Wait, what happened with Ryan?" he asked as Scott walked away. Oh well, Scott would introduce him if any of them ever ended up mattering.

*** *** ***

Alex put his phone down and collapsed back onto his bed. One more night in this hotel and then he could go home. He couldn't wait to be out of here, the entire place reminded him of Mitch. They'd fought in this very room that first night, then come back here after he'd come out to the team. It was better than being up in the suite though, he wasn't sure how he'd ever look at that tub or that bed again.

He rolled onto his side and pulled a pillow close. He'd known it would come, he saw it coming like a freight train yet it still had stunned him. Couldn't Mitch have given him a little more time? He'd tried so damn hard to open up, to give Mitch what he needed but he'd run to Scott. At least he assumed it was Scott, but he probably shouldn't. Mitch was amazing and cute as hell and he wouldn't have had any problem finding someone to give him what he wanted. 

But why lie? Why did Mitch bother telling him that he wasn't seeing anyone, that he didn't want to? The hickey on his neck during the SuperFruit video had laid it all out and popped the little bubble Alex had desperately tried to live in. His phone chirped and he read the text from Mitch before typing 'fine' and turning it off for the night. He had no idea how he was going to pretend everything was okay. He just didn't have the strength yet. Maybe tomorrow.


	37. The Jeep

Scott waited patiently, headphones in, leaning against Alex's jeep. He wanted this done with, but also wasn't sure yet exactly what he wanted to say, so this limbo land suited him just fine. He saw two women come out of the building, hair still wet. They didn't pay him any mind, so he turned his attention back towards the door. His fingers reached out and traced the paint outline on the hood and he tried to remember if it had been that way when they'd driven home from the airport.

A group of about 4 guys came out but Alex wasn't one of them. They DID stare but eventually climbed into two cars and drove off. It was another ten minutes before Alex walked out. "Hey."

"Hi Scott. What can I do for you?" He opened his door and threw his bag inside, then hovered in the doorway.

"I was hoping we could talk. Can I buy you lunch, or breakfast?" He knew right away that Alex didn't exactly like the idea, but he couldn't really blame him. He wasn't even sure HE wanted to be here, but seeing Mitch so despondent the past three days had rolled the dice for him. "You need to eat, right? You can pick the place."

"Beats eating alone, maybe. Sure. Get in."

It was even more awkward than Scott had imagined, sitting in Mitch's boyfriends car after fucking him senseless. And trying to help the relationship? It was almost laughable. "So uh, new paint job?" he asked out of desperation.

"Looks better than 'FAG' did. Neon orange isn't my color. Glad they didn't use black, I guess."

"You shitting me?"

"Nope. So why are you here? More importantly, does Mitch know?"

"I'm sorry about your car, that's shitty. But no, Mitch doesn't know I'm here and I'd really like it to stay that way. Not that you owe me anything--"

"No, I completely agree with you there. I think we're more than even."

The nagging suspicion he'd had in his head leapt to the forefront. "You know, don't you?" he asked. "I tried to edit it out, and I don't think Mitch could see it on his phone but I saw some comments, other people saw it and you did too, didn't you? Or is it something else? Look, I don't know what the deal you guys have is, I just know that before, you didn't want to know. But he didn't mean for you to find out, I mean, it was my fault. He asked me to be careful and---"

"Could you PLEASE stop fucking talking?" he asked, gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white. "Are we done? Can I take you back now?"

"No, Alex, please. You two have to work this out, he's not happy and I want you guys to work."

"You want... you're funny." He pulled into the McDonald's parking lot and turned off the engine. "I can't do this while driving or I'll need more than a paint job. Scott, Mitch and I are NOT your business, even if you are having sex. Okay?"

"But why are you so mad about it?"

"Because he LIED to me, okay? He told me... he let me think we were good, that maybe, just MAYBE we had a chance. And two days later he's marked up and practically kissing you on SuperFruit. Why am I mad? I'm not mad, I'm hurt."

"Oh, that makes much more sense. I don't think he has any clue you know, that's why he's so confused."

"I'm not supposed to care and I don't want to talk about it. How can I make him feel guilty for just doing what he needs? It's not fair."

"So instead you make him feel like crap by being distant and making him wonder?" Scott offered. "Not any better, in my book. Want some pancakes? I want pancakes." He got out of the jeep and walked inside, ordering two platters to go. He was a little worried, as he was waiting, that Alex would be gone when he went back out but it was worth the risk. He needed a few minutes to think and figured Alex did too. Besides, he was hungry.

Alex took the bag Scott offered and arranged things on his lap, glad to have something to do with his hands.

"So can we get down to business? Can you explain this whole 'sex' thing to me?"

"I'm pretty sure you know how it works."

"Oh you're funny. No wonder Mitch likes you. But seriously, what's the big deal? You must get off, right? So why not do it with him?"

Alex took a few more bites before putting his fork down. "You piss, right? So why not do it in bed with your boyfriend? Look, I know some people are into water sports, but I'm guessing you're not one. Waking up that morning, after, well I assume he told you. Anyway, it was embarrassing, like I'd wet the bed. Besides, it's gross. I will never understand why people do it together. Why not just sit around in a circle and shit in a field? You could have a campfire, roast marshmallows and have a damn party. Play pass-the-shovel."

"That mental image is fucking gross."

"Exactly."

"I'm eating here Alex, well, I was."

"Sorry."

"So you're literally telling me that you don't see a HUGE difference between sex and well, that!??"

"No, I don't. But it's not like it takes a big difference."

"Explain" Scott asked.

"Do you have sex with women?"

"No."

"Why not? You need to get off right? Why not do it with a girl? Seems like a tiny difference, from where I stand. It's enough though, right? Just saying." Alex picked up his fork and finished his breakfast as Scott stared at him, open mouthed.


	38. The 'Help'

It took him a few minutes to regain his composure. "Okay, so sex is WAY down on your list of favorite ways to spend an evening. I'm following. So uh, just how low are we talking?"

"Somewhere between a root canal at the dentist and watching a horror film alone at night, during a thunderstorm" Alex answered, starting the car. "Depends on how drunk I am."

"What about BJ's?"

"Oh FUCK NO. Worse."

"Really?"

"Much worse, yeah. I'm nauseous just thinking about it so drop it unless you want me to spew pancakes."

"Okay, so it's out. But Alex, he needs something from you and I don't even think HE knows what it is."

"It's called sex, Scott, which he is getting from you. Or do you really need me to explain it to you? I figured you two had figured everything out by now. Can we please just drop it and turn the radio on?"

"No, because he's hurting and besides, I'm not sure that's really it. He told me he didn't feel wanted. I don't think it's... SHIT!" he yelled, grabbing onto the door handle as the jeep turned around. "Are you trying to kill us?"

Alex spun the jeep around, pulling a U-turn on the busy two-lane road. "No, but your house is closer than your car and you need to get the hell out of my car."

"Why? What did I say?"

"You don't know SHIT Scott, that boy knows I'm crazy about him. He knows how I feel. He knows what 'I love you' means. I appreciate that somehow, for some reason, you THINK you're helping, or trying to help, but we're done. And just for the record, I want him so much it's hard to breathe, okay? I want to be with him 24/7. He's like a damn drug, okay? And this detox is hard as hell." He pulled up to their apartment building just as Mitch pulled in behind him and parked. 

"Oh shit." Scott wanted to hide but there was no chance in hell of pulling it off. He jumped out, hoping that if Mitch was really distracted, he could make it inside unseen.

Alex turned his head, watching Mitch walk up towards him. The lump that had been sitting in his chest for days threatened to explode but instead evaporated.

"Hi Ace. Want to tell me why you're with Scott?"

"He came to see me after practice."

"I am going to kill that bitch in his sleep! What the hell was he doing?"

"He just wanted to talk, it's fine. Maybe you can take him to get his car later?"

"Hell no, he can Uber that shit. I told him not to bother you. I'm sorry." He rested his perfectly manicured hand on the windowsill. "I guess you don't want to come in?"

"Pretty color, the red looks good on you. But it's probably not a good idea for me to come in."

"Okay Alex, I'll uh, see you around I guess? I'm really sorry, whatever I did."

"You know what you did Mitch, how can you not? I'm not supposed to be upset about it, but it's bothering me and instead of taking it out on you, I'm steering clear. But Scott says you don't know that I know. I'll get over it."

Mitch raised his eyebrows. "What? Get over what? I don't know that you know?" He paused a moment, chewing on his bottom lip. "That? Him? Oooooh, *that's* why? But how did you find out?"

"The hickey."

He put his hand up automatically even though it was almost gone and well hidden with make-up. "I yelled at him but he said he'd edited it out."

"He tried. I noticed anyway though, I sort of pay a lot of attention to you. I just don't like being lied to Mitch. You didn't have to tell me you weren't and pretend like I had a chance. That's the issue, not that you did it."

"I didn't really lie . I hadn't been with him since the last time I told you, and I didn't want him. I just... I don't know. So you really don't care that some other man had me bent over?"

Every muscle in his jaw tightened and he faced forward, gripping the steering wheel.

"You do care, don't you?" he whispered. "Good. Because I'm really not sure I could have handled you not giving a damn."

Alex watched him walk away, thinking he was going inside but instead Mitch passed behind the jeep and then hopped in the passenger seat. "Mitch?"

"Take me to the beach? Where we watched the fireworks?"

He leaned forward, then turned the car on. "Yeah, if you want. Alright." He couldn't say no, couldn't refuse that boy when those amber eyes locked onto his. Besides, even with all the tension and the confusion, this was the most content he'd been in a week. When Mitch offered his hand, he took it.

"Ace, we can't go on like this. We need to fix it or...."

"Yeah. I know Mitch, I know."


	39. The Blanket

Alex grabbed the blanket from the trunk and stood beside Mitch, motioning for him to pick the spot. He followed along behind, then snapped the blanket open when they stopped and spread it out.

Mitch smoothed out the corner, then stepped out of his shoes and sat down. "I don't know where to start."

"Me neither." He lay back, his hands forming a pillow and stretched his long legs out. 

"Why is it so hard for us to talk now? I remember the night you saved me, at dinner, you told me tons of things. You were so open. Now it's so hard."

"It shouldn't be, but you're right. I'll try."

"What happened to your jeep? Mommy noticed the paint job."

"Someone spray painted it. Don't worry about it."

"With what? And I want to worry about it. You're important."

"And you're sweet. With spray paint?" Alex joked. "FAG."

"At practice?"

"Yeah" he sighed.

"Those assholes. What can I do? Is practice a nightmare? It is, because of me. I hate Jackson. Damn it Ace, I feel so bad."

"Practice is tense. Well, the locker room is tense. I'm just waiting till everyone clears out before I shower. It's not your fault."

"Speaking of feeling bad, I'm sorry I slept with Scott."

"It's okay."

"No it's not Ace, why do you say that if it's not okay? Why do you act like you don't care? I WANT you to care."

"I have no right to complain about you getting what I can't give you. It's not fair. You're.... you shouldn't feel guilty about it. I have no right. But fine, I do care. It's allowed, and fair, but I do care."

"Well that's something, I guess."

He rolled to his side and propped up on one elbow. "Scott said you didn't feel wanted. I don't know how that's possible. Is he right?"

"Yeah, and it's partly this, the sex. I'm not saying I want you to be a jealous freak but not giving a fuck who I have sex with is... it makes me think you don't care very much. I get where you're coming from on it, I guess. But if I'm yours..."

"I've never thought about it that way Mitch. I don't GET to make those demands."

"But would you? If you could? If you could have this work any way you wanted, what would 'we' look like?"

"In my wildest dreams?" He smiled and rolled back onto his back. "Well, If you were Ace, a lot of this wouldn't be a problem, so I guess that would be nice. But you're not, and I love you, so that's fine. Your turn."

"You're going to give me more, but we can take turns if you want. Alright, well part of me thinks you're scared. I wish we could just skip ahead to a point where we're comfortable with each other. Where we could tell each other what we need without worrying that it's the end of the world."

"What do you need Mitch?"

"I need you to be more protective and possessive. I want you to claim me, and I don't mean just sex. I think it's why the dance at the bar meant so much, because you were actually touching me in public. I need you to be proud of me" he choked out. "Sorry."

"Oh Mitch, I--"

"Like even now, you're over there and I get that we're having issues but you're always so far away. And I know it's maybe because you're scared, or at least I tell myself that, but it makes me feel like you don't WANT to be with me and I ..." He pulled his knees up and tucked his chin, hating himself for the tears that were brimming.

Alex crawled over behind him and sat, wrapping his arms around Mitch. "Is this okay?" He saw the gentle nod and rested his cheek against the back of Mitch's head. "I like being close to you. You're amazing, and sweet, and absolutely gorgeous and I always want you by my side. But you're right, I'm scared. And part of me tells myself that it's not fair to you to have to pay for what happened before, for how other people acted, but the other half tells me that I'm being stupid and setting myself up for failure and that I should know by now how this turns out. You scare the hell out of me."

"I want this to work. I just don't know how. And please tell me in which universe I'm scary?"

"You're scary because of how much I care. But actually, sometimes I don't think you realize how damn intimidating you are."

Mitch lifted his head, missing Alex's jaw by a hair. "Me?"

"Yes you. I know you don't think of yourself the way you come across, but you're always so damn composed and put together and capable. And those are all good things, but sometimes I forget that there's another Mitch underneath there."

"A very different Mitch."

"So I'll try to not be shy. It's just that I tried so hard in Indy. I just don't get it . Do you understand the mixed messages I'm trying to figure out? You wanted to be close, and we were. I mean, I tried and it was good right? The bath and the dancing and? Right? Or was it only good for me?"

"It was perfect Alex. I loved it all."

"And you tell me I can do those things without you needing or expecting more but then you were with Scott. And it feels like a punishment, like a huge 'fuck you Alex, this is what I really wanted' and a part of me knows that's true and I can't blame you for needing what you need but it... it sucks. That I can't, no matter how hard I try, be what you want."

"Oh Ace."


	40. The Current

The breeze tousled Mitch's hair and Alex smoothed it into place. "Are you comfortable?"

"I've never once been in your arms and not been perfect Ace. I'm good. You?"

"Same."

"So where do we go from here? Cue the music."

"I don't know. This is the usually the point where you leave me for Scott."

"Not happening. I don't want to be with him. We're sisters, and I love him madly, but we're not right for each other. It'll never happen and we're both good with that."

"Is he... never mind. He is, he must be. I just..."

"Ace?"

"Is he good to you? You know, when you're together? I worry about you, I want you safe and happy."

Mitch turned, twisting around so he could see Alex's face. "Yeah, he is. Don't worry."

"Okay. So I can accept that you're going to be with Scott, and I'll try to step up and be more of what you want. I'm good with that, if I can see you. I don't want to let you go Mitch. I thought I could, I tried to be mad and get a little distance, protect my heart, but then I see you and it all just disappears."

He leaned in and kissed Alex gently on the lips. "And what do I do? How do I make this easy on you? How do you get more of what you want?" Alex's stomach let out a huge rumble and he laughed. "Time to feed the beast."

"I'm okay, food-wise and everything-else-wise."

"No you're not. Can I be honest with you?"

"I really hope so Mitch."

"If this goes horribly wrong, blame Scott. But I think he's right. I've been so worried about pressuring you that we haven't been communicating and I... you can't read my mind. So I'm going to throw something out there if you promise not to leave me stranded on the beach."

"I wouldn't do that."

"I don't WANT to sleep with Scott. Okay? Wait, I see those eyes. Hold on there Mister. I need, I want, to get everything I need from you. But I don't need sex, I don't think. I really don't. But I do need more. Somehow, something. And I don't know exactly what it is and I don't know if you can give it to me. But maybe you can. Maybe we can compromise and figure something out and we can both be happy. Because you don't want me sleeping with him either, right? So what... can we? Are there options?"

Alex tried not to tense and pull back, but every nerve in his body was on alert. "This is where you draw the line in the sand and I try really hard to step up and when I can't, you go. But Mitch, it's... look. If I start doing things I really don't want to do, to make you happy, I'll resent it. Not only that, but I won't want to spend time with you because I'll be worried about having to do those things. Do you understand? It's better for me if you stay with Scott."

"I hear you. So have we hit the limit of your comfort zone? I mean, I didn't know about the baths until we did it and I'm just wondering if there's anything else, if there are things ... I don't know! I want this to work Ace. Have we done everything you can? Without compromising yourself?"

"But things lead to--"

Mitch threw his hands up in frustration, then smoothed his hair. "No, no. You have to please answer the question. I'm not asking what things have led to problems in the past. If you knew it wouldn't lead to anything else... am I making sense? Do you understand what I mean? In a perfect world, where is the line?"

He stood, then walked down towards the water and stared out over the horizon. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Mitch sit down a few feet away.

"I'm pressuring you. I'm sorry. I just want... but it's probably what they did too, isn't it? They didn't mean to, but they didn't want to have to leave you---"

Alex ran forward, his long legs stretching out as he splashed into the surf and then dove, his strong arms and legs propelling him forward against the current. Within moments he was barely a small dot in the water when viewed from shore. Still he swam, pushing until his arms burned and his lungs ached. He panicked then, reaching into his pocket to retrieve his keys. He swam back to shore and tossed them towards Mitch. "Go if you want" he said as he turned his back and swam away again.

"I don't want to go" he said to the crashing surf. He wanted to yell but knew that Alex wouldn't hear it anyway. He grabbed the keys, rinsing them as well as he could in the shallow waves, then headed back to the blanket. He noticed, yet again, how alone they were. It was odd to be so secluded on a beach, especially in the middle of the day, but he couldn't see another soul. Granted, Alex's gate pass had helped with that, he was sure, but it was still almost scary now that he was gone. Finally, after what felt like an hour but was probably only 20 minutes, he saw Alex emerge from the water and walk slowly towards him.


	41. The Limits

Alex stripped out of his shirt as he walked, then looked left and right before unbuttoning his shorts and stepping out of them as well. He came to stand next to Mitch, who was looking at him wide-eyed. "You're still here."

"Of course I am. Thanks for giving me the keys, but I wouldn't have stranded you either."

"You're here and so am I."

"Yes, yes you are" he answered smiling, wondering where this was going.

"So that means we still have a chance, right?" He threw his clothes over the hood of the jeep before peeling out of his boxers and sitting down.

"What are you doing Ace?"

"I don't mind being naked. I'm good with bodies, in general. So if I wasn't worried about things, I would be comfortable being naked with you." He lay down and pulled the edge of the blanket over himself to block the sun. "Want to come in?"

"One more time. What are you doing Ace?"

"You wanted to know where the lines are and I'm going to explore. I mean, I know generally where they are, I guess, but let's try some things and I'll tell you if I hate them. And if you still need more than this, well I'll know I tried. Want to take your shirt off?"

"You're naked" he stammered.

He looked down, then back at Mitch. "Yep. But my clothes are wet and I'm with you. You asked me what I would do in a perfect world and the answer is that I would get out of my wet clothes and snuggle with my boy."

"But... "

"Are you uncomfortable?" he asked, making sure he was covered.

"Just confused. Seeing you in all your splendor does not make me uncomfortable. Well, not much. But uh, naked cuddling with you seems dangerous."

"Why Mitch? What are you doing to do?"

"Nothing!"

"Okay, then it's not dangerous. You wanted more, you wanted to be close, well, here I am. I don't have much to offer, but what I have is yours."

Mitch slipped his shirt over his head and let Alex pull him close. "Hi. Are you sure this is okay?"

"Hi honey. Relax." He started drawing small circles on Mitch's back, making figure eights and random lines until goose-bumps broke out across his arms and he shuddered. "Want me to stop?"

"No. Can I kiss you? Your stomach?"

"You want to kiss my stomach? Uh.... okay."

"It's not a gateway kiss, I promise."

Alex laughed. "I admit, that's what I thought. In that case, feel free." He tried to relax but part of him knew where this was going.

"Are you ticklish?"

"No, not too much. On my sides a little."

"I have been admiring these things since the first time I saw you" he said, placing a kiss to one side of his stomach, then the other. But see, that's... we've been together six months and I don't know if you're ticklish. How is that?"

"I know you're ticklish, if that helps."

"I think the natives of New Guinea know I'm ticklish" he teased. "I'm afraid to touch you because I worry it will bother you. I don't want to feel that way. I mean, I know some things are off limits but I've wanted to properly admire these abs for months and just didn't feel like I could ask."

"I never said you couldn't, did I? I said no getting handsy below the belt. My belt sits pretty low" he joked, running his finger along his tan line. "But I've noticed that you don't touch me much. I just thought you were worried you couldn't control yourself. I mean, I'm not going to push you to do things that might make things ha--- I mean difficult for you. Caught it that time!"

"We're ridiculous."

"Seems that way Mitch. So, onto harder things DAMN IT I did it again. Fuck it. Moving on. The other morning, in Indy, meant a lot to you, didn't it? You were sad that it bothered me? Because you wanted to do it again, or more things like it?"

Mitch tried to stop chuckling. "I was sad because it didn't seem like a bit deal, to me, I guess, and I hate you being upset. But yeah, honestly, it was... nice. I felt close to you, there's a connection when you come with someone. But it DID bother you."

"Mostly the me part though. I can deal with you, if you want to. I mean, I could hold you as long as I don't have to help. Well, I mean I could kiss you or whatever, I just don't want to help or get jizzed on."

"Well that's eloquent as hell. Geesh. It really bothers you, doesn't it? I'd rather not if you feel that strongly about it."

"But I could. I think I would be alright. Or what if I gave you a really nice, thorough massage and then left you alone to handle things? I like touching you" he said, reaching out and running his fingertips down Mitch's arm.

"I like when you touch me, a lot, and a massage sounds really good. The little peep show after the bath was nice too; I'm all for a little help. I just feel guilty when I need to."

"Don't. It's not like I don't do it too."

"Do you ever think about me?" Mitch asked, curling up on his side. "Can I ask that?"

"Of course you can ask. You mean during? Like, um, actually I... I don't really think about the act, right? I have stories going on in my head."

"Yeah?"

Alex blushed and turned his head, laughing when Mitch gripped his jaw and turned him back. "My imagination is a kinky, fucked-up place. Things I would NEVER do in real life just run wild. But um, once I did. I'm not telling you any details though!"

"I'm going to ask you when you're drunk. Mommy is curious."


	42. The Middle

*** Don't kill me, but, um, PG-13? R? I don't know how to label these things. So, here we go....

 

"Ace, this is really nice. I like feeling your skin against mine. I still can't believe you're naked though."

"In all my glory. So just to make sure I understand, I can touch you even if Scott's around? You won't think I'm a Neanderthal and he won't take a swing at me?"

"God no, girl. Please do. I like your arm around my shoulder and I really like when you slip your finger in my belt loop, that's awesome."

"Yeah?"

"Mmhmm, do it more often. Please? Especially when other people are around. I'm sort of needy."

"I will. And if we're out and you want me closer, you can do those things too, you know. You can always hold my hand, anytime. I'm not really used to PDA's, I might need some reminders. I'm shy, but if you give me a hint I'll reciprocate."

"That sounds like a plan. Thanks."

"For what sweetheart?"

"Just talking to me. We've needed to do this for a long time." He snuggled closer, leaving a kiss on Alex's chest. "You're salty, and probably starving."

"I am, but can we do one more thing first?"

"Sure, I'm game. Well, I think." He raised his head up then gasped as Alex spun him around so his back came to rest on the blanket. "Damn boy." Alex was perched above him, his fingers resting on the waistband of his pants. "You don't have to--"

"I want to if you do. I'm offering. I'm not going to help though, but I'll be with you. If you want to try."

"I don't know Ace. I... I don't know what to do."

"Look, if you're serious about not being with, well, only with me, then you need more than I've been giving you and this is the only thing I can think of that I might be able to deal with long term. Not every day, but when you really need me... I think it'll be alright. But I won't know until we do it."

"That's... I hear you. And you're probably right, I guess. But honestly I don't even know if I CAN. Talk about performance anxiety. Although, having you up there is definitely helping. Are you sure? If you hate it you'll tell me?"

"Promise."

"Let me get in my bag real quick, so I don't make a mess." He returned to his back a moment later and tried to relax, taking in the fact that Alex was on hands and knees above him. "You're beautiful."

"Take them off" he whispered, then lowered his head and left a trail of kisses from the corner of Mitch's mouth down his neck. He'd never marked anyone but in that moment, all he wanted was to do it to Mitch, to stake out his territory. "Can I?" he asked, his breath fluttering against the neck open below him.

"Yes, yes." His hands left his cock, wanting to focus on every nip, every sensation. They went instead to Alex's waist a moment, needing to feel him, muscles rippling beneath smooth skin. "Please." When the assault turned more gentle and exploratory his hand found its way back at its target.

"That's it, keep going honey." Alex shifted to one side, rolling Mitch away from him and offering him his bicep for a pillow. "I want you to feel good" he whispered as he kissed the nape of his neck, then ran a hand up his spine and back down before following the line of his hip. "You're so beautiful, all of you. You need this, don't you?"

"Ace" he muttered, his breathing short. He angled his head to kiss Alex's arm beneath him and exploded, a strangled 'yes' forced from his lips as Alex pulled him close. He struggled to take a few deep breaths. "Please don't run."

"I'm not going anywhere. Relax, take a minute."

"Where the hell did you learn to talk like that? Damn that was hot." He couldn't miss Alex's hard length pressing against him, although Alex didn't seem bothered by it. "Do you want to finish?" he asked. 

"No, no" Alex said quietly, trying to arrange himself. "Ignore it."

"But I don't... I don't understand. But okay, if you're sure. It's up to you."

"It happens, it doesn't mean I want to do anything. It especially happens when I have a beautiful, sexy man in my arms. It's physical, that's all."

"Alright. You have to forgive me, I've been trained that it's bad manners to leave someone hanging" he joked.

"Understood." His stomach let out a loud rumble and he nuzzled into Mitch's neck. "I'm going to eat you if I don't get some food soon."

"As amazing as that sounds, part of me is afraid you might mean that literally. Any chance you want to go out with Scott, his new fuckboy, and a few friends? They're doing dinner in..." he reached into his bag and swiped his phone on "half an hour."

"If you're there and there's food involved, I am all in."

"Okay, go get your damp shorts on and we'll get something into your stomach."

"I think I have some granola bars in the Jeep, that'll tide me over, I hope."

"Wouldn't want you to starve to death. Hey, Alex?"

"Yeah?" he asked, stepping into his shorts.

"Was that okay?"

"Yeah, it was. If you need me just, let me know, okay?"

Mitch smiled, then bit his lip nervously before smiling again. "Thank you."


	43. The Minion

They had barely made it into the restaurant before Scott grabbed Mitch's arm and pulled him into the corner. "You have a HICKEY!" he whispered loudly, "and I didn't do it!"

"Wow, it's showing already? Probably going to be a good one." He tried to peer around Scott to catch sight of Alex but he could only catch a quick glimpse. "Which reminds me" he hissed, then smacked Scott's arm "I'm mad at you!"

"Wha?" Scott backed up a bit and pouted, rubbing his arm. "What'd I do?"

"You INTERFERED! With MY relationship. You need to keep your fat ass OUT of it!"

"Your ring hurts" he whined, overreacting. "But you're together and you have a HICKEY! Girl, from here it looks like you owe me! Wait, Alex did it, right?"

"Of COURSE!" he groaned, rolling his eyes. "Do not talk to me until after I've had a glass of wine, okay? Now move." He pushed by Scott and went over to Alex who was attempting to win a stuffed minion out of a claw machine while someone, likely Scott's date by the look of him, watched. He couldn't help but notice that the twink-of-the-week was standing awfully close. "Hey babe, sorry. Scott's dumb." He saw the strangers eyes flit in his direction. "No offense."

Alex took one step back and with a gentle nudge to Mitch's waist, encouraged him to step in front of him. He wrapped both hands around the controller, hemming Mitch in. "No worries. I've almost got this one."

"That's what they always say. Those damn things are impossible." He couldn't help the grin that covered his face. Take that, twink-of-the week. He's mine. He regretted his jealous thoughts and tried to push them aside, especially since this guy probably would never matter. He heard the hostess call out 'Hoying' and looked towards the counter just as Alex dropped the minion. "Sorry babe."

"It's all good. On the way out, it's mine." He linked hands with Mitch and followed Scott and his date back. "It's a buffet! Thank God!"

Forty-five minutes into dinner, Mitch had to admit that he actually liked Scott's date. He had table manners, an IQ above 100, and also a name. Connor. Nice. He also had to admit that HIS boyfriend was a freak of nature. Who ate four plates? Ever? Anywhere? "Are you really going again?" he joked.

"Yep, want anything?"

"Do I need some sort of cart to get you home with?" Perhaps you could get into a wheelchair now?"

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Funny. You know I'm fine. Going in for dessert though, actually."

"Well isn't that a relief?" Mitch teased. "Get me something that looks yummy." He considered going with him but actually lifting himself from the chair seemed like work. Besides, he still had half a glass of wine to enjoy and since he had the table to himself, he could relax and try to process some of what had happened today. The beach had been a rollercoaster of emotions and then the finale, wow. He wasn't quite sure what to make of everything. Were Alex and him solid? Good? Would they both be happy this way? Or did it just seem like they'd solved things when in fact, the same issues would continue to boil under the surface? He tried to focus on the present and grinned as Scott sat down, his plate loaded with 5 or 6 different small desserts. Boy sure did like to sample--and not just food, either. He watched Connor sit and hoped that this one might actually stick around awhile. Scott was more than due for something a bit more long-term.

"Penny for your thoughts" Alex whispered, sitting down. He placed the plate between them and smiled. "Help yourself."

"Nothing important" he answered, grabbing a small brownie-type square with a layer of what appeared to be fruit inside. "I'm being bad."

"Yeah, sorry. Didn't see anything that looked gf except jello which... well let's face it, is only good when made with large quantities of vodka."

Mitch laughed, then licked a stray piece of chocolate off his lip. "You are right, Sir. This is good, thank you."

On the way out, Alex stopped at the claw machine. "Do you mind?"

"Nope. Waste your money however you deem fit."

"You have no faith, Mitch. Watch and be amazed." He dropped it his first attempt, but on his second try he succeeded and pulled it out of the machine. "Ha!"

Mitch jumped up and gave him a quick hug. "Damn boy, impressive skills you have there."

"I'll work hard for something I want. For you" he said, offering the toy to Mitch.

"I couldn't.... it's.... really?" he asked, eyes twinkling.

"Yep, although, we do have to work out some sort of visitation."

"Perhaps joint custody?" Mitch offered.

"Or you could spend the night at my place and make things easy on the poor guy. He's had a long day."

Mitch almost missed it but caught on to Alex's plea, although the idea of him as a minion was so funny that he had to fight himself and take a few quick breaths to keep himself from breaking out laughing. "Absolutely. Just run me home to grab some things?"


	44. The Shave

** Possible drug/addiction triggers?

Alex was grinning and practically running as he headed towards Mitch's car. "Thanks for picking me up honey. Guess what?" he asked, eyes dancing.

"You won the lottery?"

"YES! I shaved almost two seconds off my time."

Mitch backed out and headed towards brunch/second breakfast. "How?"

"Last week they hooked up little diodes to me and they've been analyzing my swimming all week and I've been trying to make a few little changes. Hard to reprogram years of practice, but I did it! My elbow was turned too much."

"Your elbow? Just one? Doesn't it go whichever way your arm does? And you went SWIMMING covered in electronics?" He shook his head to clear the other 14 thoughts, then tried again. "Two seconds is a LOT, right? Congrats baby." He parked, glad to let the hyper Alex out of the car so he'd have more room to, well, do whatever he was doing. Vibrate, perhaps.

"It's HUGE Mitchy, huge. I would have won Indy, it's THAT big." He headed straight for his usual table since the place wasn't busy and all the waitstaff knew him anyway. "I still can't believe it."

Mitch took the offered cup of coffee, he loved this waitress and she knew how much he needed coffee when he came in. "The paint shop called, they said it'll be ready after 1 pm. Want to hang out and then I'll take you over?"

"Sounds great. It was really sweet of you to get it done, you didn't have to."

"I can't ride around in your two-toned Jeep, I have a reputation to uphold" he teased.

"Well thanks anyway, whatever the reasons. Can I unload something?"

"Of course. What's up?" he asked, startled by Alex's tone.

"I talked to my mom, Lisa's in rehab again."

"Lisa? Your mom? I mean your birth mom?"

"Yeah. I just needed to say the words. Okay, let's order some FOOD. I worked up an appetite today."

"I'm sorry. About Lisa, I mean; you're always hungry."

"Don't be. It means it didn't kill her yet which is good, I guess. It's just, she always wants to see me or talk to me afterwards. Part of the 12 steps is to make amends and she always wants to get together and well, let's just say I'm not looking forward to it. But really, we can change the subject now."

"If you're sure?" He took Alex's hand and waited until he made eye contact.

"I am. Thanks."

*** *** ***

"Hey Shrimp, how's it hanging?" Mitch asked, dropping his bag onto the couch.

"A little to the left at the moment" Scott teased back. "Did you have a good day?"

"I did! Grabbed Alex's jeep too, it looks good as new. Then we hit the MOCA. Saw 'Tongues Untied'. There's an amazing documentary and they have tons of exhibits mostly focusing around the AIDS crisis and the effect on the queer community. It was surreal, really."

"Sounds like a very you thing, I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"What have YOU been up to all day Cinderella? Working your fingers to the bone?"

"I've done very little other than some email and computer work. What is with that shit-eating grin? Out with it Mitch."

"He invited me to go to his parents for Thanksgiving. To meet them and everything."

"And you said 'yes' I assume or something closer to 'Wheeeeee'?" he asked.

"Actually I said I'd have to check the schedule."

"You know we're free. We worked last year and said 'not again'. What is it? What's going on?"

"Nothing. I mean, I want to, but this is big."

"Yeaaaaah? Mitch? I thought you were good."

"We are fucking fantastic, honestly. I mean, it's almost so good it's scary. I'm becoming so dependent though and it's like my entire world revolves around him and I think his does around me too and I just.... Scott?"

He tried to look compassionate, but it was so sickeningly sweet that he was having a hard time not laughing. "Yeah Moonbeam?"

"I've never been in love like this."

"I know. It's wonderful."

"It's frightening."

"So you've said. But Mitch, if you could see you from the outside, it's really so obvious and it's good. Really good."

"Yeah?" he asked, biting his lip.

"Yeah. So go call him already before you self-combust. Tell him yes."

"If you're sure?"

"I'm sure, and so are you. Go on Mitchy. I'll find a movie if you decide to stick around here tonight."

"I'm not going over, he has personal calls to make and things to work out. Plus I thought four nights in a row was enough."

"Well I won't lie and say I haven't missed you. So, movie?"

"Absolutely. I'll be back in ten."

"Or twenty" he called as Mitch headed for his room.


	45. The Visit

"Are you sure you don't mind waiting?"

"Not one bit. I don't mind going in, either. Whatever you want babe."

Alex unfastened his seatbelt and looked once more at the dilapidated building desperately in need of a fresh coat of paint. It wasn't the first halfway house he'd been in, but that didn't make it any easier. Having Mitch here though, did. "Promise to call me if anyone bothers you, or if you need me?"

"I will. But honey, it's fine. I'm good. I'll be here when you're done." He had every intention of locking the doors as soon as Alex left but would still rather be out here than inside. He understood that Alex didn't want to expose him to Lisa, and didn't blame him or want him to feel guilty about it.

"I'll be as quick as I can." And then, before he could talk himself out of it, he hopped out of the car and strode up the cracked sidewalk and onto the rickety porch. He knocked before he could rethink it, then went inside.

Mitch watched him disappear, trying to understand why Alex put himself through this. He didn't want to be here, and in Mitch's eyes, didn't owe Lisa anything. How did it feel to have two parents who loved you madly and were your family, but then also this other part of yourself just floating out in the wild? A scary, drug-addicted wild? He couldn't fathom. He called his mom quickly, wishing them a happy Thanksgiving and was still on the phone when Alex came out the front door ten minutes later.

Alex thought it was funny that Lisa wanted to walk him out, as if she could protect him from, what? There was nothing she could handle better than he could, except maybe telling if meth was laced. She'd told him once about putting drugs in the freezer before using them, to see how they froze. It was a lesson he'd been happy to forget. Today hadn't been bad though, and he was almost finished.

He had a hard time believing that the woman standing with Alex could possibly be his mother. For one thing, she was short. Well, not short, but she looked of average height. She was a lot older than he'd expected too. He watched as she squeezed Alex's hand before he came down the stairs and towards the car. 

Alex hadn't expected her to follow him. He stopped and turned before reaching the door. "What is it?"

"Can I meet your friend, Jimmy?"

"It's Alex. And no Lisa, not today. Maybe some other time."

"Oh come on, introduce me." She stepped around Alex and knocked on the window. "Hi"

He wanted to push her to the side and hop in, then drive away but he couldn't. He pressed his key fob and rolled the window down a few inches. "Mitch, this is Lisa."

"Hi Lisa" Mitch answered, leaning down a bit so he could see her head. "Nice to meet you."

"Oh he's cute Ji--Alex. Why don't we all go to lunch?"

"I can't Lisa, mom and dad are expecting me home."

She pouted, then stepped back. "Alright then. Drive safe."

"Take care of yourself Lisa. It was nice to see you." He slid into the drivers seat and closed the door, then pulled out of the driveway. Once he was a few houses down he pulled the car over. "Dear God. Sorry Mitch, I didn't think she'd follow me."

"It's alright babe. Are you okay?"

"I feel like I just ran a marathon."

"I'm sorry. Anything I can do Alex?"

"No, I just need a second." He rested his head against the steering wheel, then reconsidered and laid it on Mitch's shoulder. "Thanks for coming. I hate that she calls me Jimmy."

"I caught her slip, was that um, is that the name she gave you?"

"Yeah. It's been 20 years, she should know it by now."

"More than that, almost 25?"

"No, I wasn't adopted when I was a baby, she had me until I was 3 something, then foster care, then the Kirks adopted me once I was legally free."

"Oh." Mitch wasn't sure what to say to that, he couldn't imagine a tiny Alex in her care. Honestly, he wasn't sure how she managed to dress herself and she was clean now. She must have been using then, either when she was pregnant or at least when he was a baby, right? It must have been why he was taken? He wanted to know the details, but didn't want to ask and upset Alex any more than he already was. Once they were home again, maybe.

"Sorry, it's fine. Let's go meet the parental units and get a drink or two and enough appetizers to feed a family of four for a week." He put the car in drive and maneuvered through the broad streets, finally getting back on the highway. "It's not far, 10 minutes or so."

"So tell me about them?"

"My dad, Paul, is an architect and Carrie is a real estate agent. They're great and Carrie is a really good cook. We always get pies from this amazing little bakery and they are to DIE for. You'll like them, I think, and they'll love you. No pressure, but I sort of came out to them last week, when I told them you were coming with me. So uh, if it's a bit awkward at first, forgive them?"

"You told them?"

"Yeah, I don't mean I flew down here to let them know, you dork."

"I, hey!" Mitch exclaimed, slapping him playfully on the arm. "I'm just surprised. They took it okay?"

"Yep. Carrie said she knew already and Paul said" he switched to a deep voice, "'This is your home and you can bring anyone home you want'."

"Well I guess they win the parenting award of the month" Mitch offered, glad that at least one thing was going well for Alex.

"You're right, we should get them some wine."

"You're my hero."


	46. The End

Mitch was curled up in Alex's arms that night, still surprised that they'd let them share the guest bedroom. Alex's parents had been super though, and none of the awkwardness Alex had feared had reared it's ugly head. And, true to his word, dinner had been amazing. The whole day had been, really. "Thanks for inviting me babe."

"Thanks for coming. It's nice having you here, and you were amazing with mom and dad."

"They're great."

"Mom thinks you're the bees knees."

"She told me on several occasions. Now I know where you get that corny expression from" he teased, swirling his fingertips along Alex's chest.

Alex kissed the top of Mitch's head and pulled him a little closer. "I didn't think I'd... nevermind. I'm just glad you're here."

"You didn't think what?" he asked, propping himself up so he could watch Alex's eyes.

"I just didn't think I'd ever get this. Someone like you. I'm just really happy. Okay?"

"Okay" he answered, grinning. He didn't lay back down though, he stayed perched on his elbow, staring down at Alex as his hazel eyes danced in embarrassment. "God you're pretty."

"Have to be, to be seen with all your gorgeousness. Come down here and kiss me, damn it."

"Happily." He ended up back on Alex's chest a few minutes later, absolutely content. "I love you."

"I love you too Mitch. Every single crazy, wonderful part. Although I still think your coffee addiction borders on needing a 12-step program."

"You're probably right but I don't care. I haven't hit bottom yet."

"I'll be here when you do."

"Don't think I didn't notice that you gave me decaf earlier" he accused, poking Alex in the chest.

Alex chuckled. "Damn. I tried."

"And I appreciate that you did it out of kindness so I didn't throw it all over you or storm out of the house. You're welcome. But don't poke Momma bear. She needs her coffee."

"Yes ma'am." He let out an unhappy moan. "God I'm full."

"I can not EVEN. I have blocked out all memories of how much food was consumed today. But you were right, those pies were magnificent."

"Is it possible to be too full to sleep? Because if it is, I'm doing it. I can't say it's pleasurable."

"Like you would know" Mitch teased.

"Fucker."

"She won't let me."

"Ha - Ha- Ha" he said sarcastically. "That's what she said. You're SO funny."

"One of my many talents. I have others."

"I'm sure you do honey, I'm sure you do."

"I'm tired. You need your sleep; big meet on Monday. Will you be recovered by then?" Mitch yawned, then pulled the blanket up higher.

"I'd better be. I'm going to rock Mitch, I hope to place first in the 100, maybe even the 50. Then it's just Olympic prep and a North American tour and an album."

"Now I'm really, really tired just thinking about it. I don't want to think about being away from you so much."

"Me neither. You could stay with me when you're home, you know. If you wanted."

"Are you offering me closet space and a dresser drawer? I'm in. And maybe we can rearrange your practices and fit in some 3 and 4-day visits? I'll fly you out."

"Sounds good sweetheart. I'd love to see more of your shows."

"We can do this Alex, right? You, me, our crazy schedules?"

"Absolutely."

 

*** The End ***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no idea, when I started The Butterfly, where this book would go or that it would end up SO long. I hope that all the Milex fans (and even some of the Scomiche ones) have enjoyed their crazy journey. Thanks so much for giving this book a chance. I really, really enjoyed writing it.
> 
> To all the Aces who messaged me, and those who remained silent, I hope you enjoyed the book. I know that this doesn't mirror all of your experiences or feelings, and I would never try to. But, I think I've done a decent job representing some issues while keeping the story light and fun.
> 
> I hope those of you who didn't know much about asexuality before have had a chance to explore some ideas and see how it sometimes works. No two Ace people are the same. Every relationship is different, just like every straight relationship is different. Aviously, right? ;) 
> 
> To the swimmers out there, I'm amazed. Keep on keeping on and doing what you love.
> 
> LOVE you all!!
> 
> \-- Deanne


	47. Epilogue -- The Olympics

Mitch was overwhelmed with the support. He was surrounded by people who loved him and loved Alex, and it was a bit much to take in. Luckily Scott was next to him, keeping him grounded by being completely insane. On Scott's opposite side sat Brady, who had become a fairly permanent fixture in his best friend's life over the past six months. Mitch couldn't have been happier for Scott; he deserved the world and it looked like he'd finally found it.

He stood and stretched to get some blood flow back into his rear end. He may have been sitting on brand new shiny bleachers, but they were still bleachers. He stared down at the pool yet again, sending happy vibes and thoughts to Alex who was with his team and coaches somewhere behind the numerous sets of double doors leading away from the water. His phone chirped, and he grabbed it quickly.

Babe: Signing off. Changed, stretched, ready to go. 

Mitch: Love you no matter what. You made it babe! Slice and dice :)

Babe: xo

"Was that Alex?" Carrie asked from over his shoulder.

"Yep. He's ready to go. How long till the start?"

Alex's dad double checked his watch. "18 minutes to show time."

"Mitch?" Scott asked. "This is the good one, right?"

"Yeah, we didn't expect to medal at the 50 but his time was amazing. The 100 is his best chance for an individual medal so cross your fingers and toes."

Alex wasn't sure he was breathing. He did fine until the lights from the arena hit him after the relative darkness of the hallway but then the magnitude of what was about to happen hit him like a ton of bricks. Thirty seconds later, over a decade of training kicked in. He was going to swim, that was all. He waved to the crowd as they announced the two US swimmers, then took to his block. He'd swum this race tens of thousands of times. This was no different. He had to remember his breathing, his elbow, to time his turn. As soon as his foot was resting, waiting for everyone else to be ready, he turned his head and saw Mitch and his family in the stands. He smiled, then turned away, focusing on his breathing.

Mitch caught Alex's eyes and said more prayers than he'd ever said before. It didn't matter if Alex didn't make the podium, not really. If he swam well and even his best wasn't good enough, he would get over the disappointment. If he didn't, he might have a harder time, fighting the 'what ifs'. Podium or not, Mitch was damn proud to have his boyfriend down there, chasing his dream.

He was thankful for Scott's hand and squeezed it, then closed his eyes a moment and waited for the ready signal. When it blared he opened them and watched Alex get into position. He took off like a rocket when the gun rang out, sleek and strong and looking good. Alex kept up with the main pack until just a few meters before the turn and lost some time which confused Mitch, he always went strong through the turns. But then, when he hit it perfectly and shot past two of the swimmers who hadn't timed it so well, he understood. Alex was swimming smart. Now it was a race, just arms and legs, muscle and determination.

Mitch actually stopped breathing as Alex pulled into third, or maybe he was fourth? Everyone was so close that it was hard to tell. First place was gone, he was at least a foot, no wait, a full arm length ahead of second and Alex was definitely third now, his long arms reaching out. And then, when everyone was cheering so loudly that Mitch could hardly think, Alex stretched out towards the wall as the man in second place lifted up for his last stroke. And then it was over, and all there was to do was look at the clock and scoreboard. 

Every pair of eyes in the arena were focused on the scoreboard, waiting for the list of names and times to appear. Mitch didn't care, he was almost certain that Alex would get bronze. His head had been a solid foot ahead of the fourth place swimmer and he couldn't imagine anyone with arms long enough to reach ahead of him. No matter what, Alex had swum perfectly and would be happy.

Serbia -- Cavic, Milorad 50.01

USA -- Kirk, Alexander 50.59

S. Africa -- le Clos, Chad 50.64 

And then he was on his feet and screaming, and gasping, and being hugged by everyone. Carrie and Paul were weepy, proud parents and Scott lifted Mitch off the ground in a huge hug, then turned and hugged Brady. Mitch watched as Alex walked towards the podium and as the silver medal went around his neck, he was inundated with love for that man who had overcome so many things gracefully and with a sweet heart and spirit. Time seemed to stand still and he truly didn't know if he would be able to survive the wait while Alex did whatever it was that Olympians did after winning a medal.

Mitch: I'm so fucking proud of you!!!!! You're amazing. Congrats love!

Mitch: I can't stand myself! I love you. I'm dating a Silver medalist. Has a nice ring to it.

Babe: Love you too, my little butterfly.

Mitch: So, are you going to do it?

Babe. Absolutely. Tonight. Come with, right? Hold on, interviews? I'm famous.

Mitch put his phone back into his pocket and smiled. Tonight Alex would get five interlocking colored rings tattooed on his shoulder and Mitch had a surprise for him; he had a new tattoo in mind too.


End file.
